The Past

My past is filled with lost memories, many I have the most difficult time remembering; not only because it is in the past but also because I said to myself I don't want to see my family rejecting, ignoring me. I also said I will never forget, and forget I did, and only the strange sensations(later I realized it was anxiety) brought me to Orgone Therapy.

I do remember my last blog where I hid under the sink, but today I remembered other times when calling on my family to stop being mean, I was sent upstairs and I stayed in my room, crying that no one was there, in fact no one came to see what was wrong, no one talked, no one.

Now in the present the impotency of childhood can resurface, and the depression of not being received: when ones Orgone is not accepted it stays buried. As a adult many say what is the good of going back and revisiting the past, just change, like knowing the darkness changes to light: except my character was cemented. Patterns were set that laughed at my wishes.

I had to accesses the unconscious, make the past remembered so I wouldn't screw up the present.            

Orgone Therapy is where I learned to access my buried emotions which allowed me to know the difference between being angry with my parents, our culture and not projecting that on your friends and therapist. Accessing my Orgone, my core allows me to understand my character; the ways I hold myself, the way I handle emotions, my tension. I am glad I went back. Being neglected, left out, ignored in the past will lead to addiction. Not achieving acknowledgement from the family, fairness from the culture, leads to seeking pleasure from divergent sources, often addictive substances.

I am great believer in Orgone Therapy. Orgone Therapy is my foundation for moving through the world. There have been other helpful insights after I have stopped seeing Dr. Rinn. One was People Skills by Robert Bolton. I highly recommend this book, day to day communication skills are thoroughly explained. His worked helped me understand why I failed verbally or became annoyed with other peoples verbal, communication skills. Finally what I am now calling URMovingenergy, or now Catto, a combination of all the moving arts I practice and study. Not only do these movements move the Orgone, Chi etc. but also gives me another way to to embody Orgone knowledge.