the untouched

Denial is the emotional plague. The plague  has only desire to fulfill there addicted need of release. In general its a combined confusion of consciously calling there own condition necessary and contempt that is isolating and sadistic. If one has not learned how to emote properly than one becomes an addict.

Being held does not mean being felt. Awakening the body will be helped by Massage Therapy. Having been a Massage Therapist I can vouch for the importance of non sexual touch.  A safe way to access what was not given. Feeling more of oneself is achieved in a touch wholesome experience. Massage is wonderful and helps with staying balanced,

Without a rational emotional spontaneity,  the spiral of not knowing how to achieve satisfaction will not be  accessible. I had to dull my organism and armor caused addiction.

Oddly you can be alive and not be aware that your only half alive. Abuse has limited you. To keep on living you closed down the experience of abuse. The tortuous birth, circumcision, sexual abuse, flatten the Orgone. Combined with touch poverty is missing all the positive bacteria, that will inhabit the gut after vagunal birth, breat feeding all important as is mother's touch. The internal  microbiome also affects the immune system and the lack of touch is a nuclear bomb to ones physical health.

Added to that abuse was neglect; the culture and the family left little time for intimacy that was needed for emotional growth. As a baby there was no words only the movement of Orgone; the movement became fully frozen, unconscious. Sadly no one knew how to release the scarred, scared, panicked babies anger. The unreleased Orgone cuts off the movement of emotion.

As a maturing child the build up of Orgone has to be released and pushes against the old armored Orgone. As an adult, often an addictive lifestyle is a "satisfying" solution for unease that will turn nasty, hurtful, in pursuit of false understanding and search for a satisfying release.

The western culture needs the reassurance of touch.  Massage is a good adjunct to help the untouched. During your search for a fuller understanding of yourself, massage will help balance ones outlook.  .