Forget Words

O.C.D.. Obsession compulsion disorder. I hear a lot of gab lately about this or that friend who showing signs of O.C.D.. O.C.D. has become so popular that one can say O.C.D. and people know what you mean. For most of us O.C.D. is a compulsion to wash your hands continuously. The person has become fixated and concerned about germs. It is easy
to understand why; just visit any hospitable and one will see Purell anti bacterial lotion in every corner; even to the extant hundreds of mats on the floor with the word Purell on it. In every pocketbook
there is a bottle. I do think this is an example of profit combining with obsession.
The panic is palpable. O.C.D. is everywhere. Of course bacteria is a concern but obviously Purell
has not stopped the spread of disease.

I had a great thought. Two minutes later I can not remember that thought. I'm sure if I can remember that thought I would be OK. Thoughts, words are a dead end street.

Words are useless for changing behavior. Unless those words have emotion behind them. There only good if those words tell you to forget words. You will forget the words when you are struggling with behavior. It's addictive behavior that is our mystery.

The energy moves invisibly
in your body and gives you a feeling. Or perhaps it's the drink that releases some locked up feeling or you slam the door. The energy is moving  and you feel a little better

Most of us become good at denying that we have problems. Are we not the same as everyone else: struggling to make a living to find our way. Yet in this denial we pick up addictions to give us a little relief. A relief from controlling the misery that locks our muscles and awareness into frozen breathing and concrete armor. No feelings, no doubt, no satisfaction.

Where does abuse and addiction begin.
If your lucky these days not to be born with a Cesarean section Now aren't scheduled births convenient. The child becomes the toy for the mother or more accurately an addiction to fulfill mother). Vulnerable, totally dependent, unbelievably sensitive, the baby is assaulted with
the typical birth abuses. Confused the baby goes into shock. But yet if the mother is warm and
loving and if the mother's breasts are excited with milk perhaps there is hope.

The babies energy could make a rush to the surface and 
pleasure can make confusion clear: feeling right and safe the baby doesn't need answers. The problem lies with the mother.

Everything can go wrong but if the mother can give herself to the baby there is hope.
In other words the mother must love being sucked by the baby or the baby withdraws.

The baby has taken some control of his life at a tremendous cost. Control feels like you can survive and often during your life control is the difference between life and death.  Control is a necessary skill that all of us need to wear like a coat . A coat that is up to us to put on or take off. The problem with control is when control starts at an early age and gets reinforced by further trauma than control becomes chronic and becomes a character formation. Control that is chronic stimulates a need for addictive release because it is not removable by the individual except by outside addictive lifestyle. 

The movement of energy as feelings is a paradigm that is intrinsic to satisfaction, well being, and health. The movement of Orgone, energy  and its release should direct our life; Orgone movement is who we are. Stopping, frustrating, the movement of Orgone results in confusion, and a search for some form of energetic expression, often addiction.

The Problem of Pleasure

The movement of Orgone within my body is often invisible. Yet that movement drives every one's life. Once I began feeling that movement I realized consciously or unconsciously, I sought out ways to feel the pleasure,or feared the pleasure of the Orgones(Energy) movement.

Early in my childhood I protected myself like a possum: that is forgetting myself by being in a fantasy of thought, and not feeling the movement of energy to the surface. Taking that detour of thought leads to a detour that leads to addiction. Because one way or another I had to feel pleasure and pleasure does not come without the body. 

Experiencing pleasure without control: a spontaneous baby has simple controls: feeling pleasure or closing down or crying. Often the baby will cry till he or she gives up or holding all energy still so to avoid anymore attention from the world outside himself that is causing the child to withdraw: the fear of expression causes armor. Embedded is our past is the horrifying trauma of total rejection.

Every time I feel pleasure, the movement
of Orgone to the surface of my body, reminds the adult of trying to control that feeling like I did as a child. Control is the pressure cooker: we're Jack in the Boxes waiting to pop. When adults take away a child's normal being which is instinctual contact resulting in pleasure than the organism goes into shock, than more shock resulting in a deceptive child:
seeking to hide from their own self, the child also hides from the world. Addictions circumvents the memory: Addictions are short lived fixes that give temporary pleasure.

Reaching out from myself to you is pleasurable. My writing is entertainment. Entertainment will remind you of pleasure. The reminder will illicit dim memories of our initial denial of pleasure and that primal rejection is infuriating. Please be warned that analysis without affect(Emotion) can illicit further denial. Only therapy not words on paper can reduce or eliminate addictions.

Emotional Plague

No doubt the emotional plague is in me. The emotional plague a name given to the sickness that inhabits the people of our world. Basically because our emotions
are either non existent or so twisted and unconscious we go about in a protective fog. While we torture ourselves and our loved ones by misdirecting our anger to find some relief from the pain of too much energy and not enough lovely release.

Know does not come from a book. Knowledge comes from knowing yourself. And here's the rub: lost in the ignorance and the Plague how do you know yourself?  You need a great therapist.
Also just about as hard, you also must want therapy: easier than it sounds. Evolution is God manifested slow agony. Why so damn slow?

Enlightenment that is sudden turns you into a raving lunatic. Realization of how
much Plague is in you can cause tremendous self loathing; if self awareness comes without self compassion. The battle to be brave and know oneself is a fight a coward has to win.

Release

We are born  a miracle, yet denial of every kind obfuscates the wonder of life.

Life demands
examination. Dr. Reich illuminated our search for understanding. His penetrating analysis was so powerful that still to this day his work like looking into the sun. His work points out the simple profound truths of our existence. Humans generate energy. At some point either you will suppress the flow or express the energy as feelings. Suppressing leads to addictions and expressing leads to satisfaction. So what's the problem?


Why do most people suppress. Why do adults abuse children into suppression?
Is it that competition for survival demands success through abuse?
Was abuse like a virus that spread through fear. Did envy and isolation
demand revenge. Revenge fueled by neglect. The explanation can be interesting but
satisfaction does not lie in intellectual pursuits. Expressing yourself through intimate contact needs to be achieved to satisfy the energetic release needed by our
organism.

The restrictions of armor's complete release is not easy to achieve. Energy builds in the body. Excess energy feels weird and often that weird feeling causes problems. Seeking a return to feeling right people try different methods to overturn that weirdness. Addictions become the tool to control that odd feeling. How to return to being a regular person when you were not given the tools or the map to find satisfaction through feelings. Releasing energy through intercourse, mutual complete orgasm, not oral sex but love between a man and a women center and balances your feelings and your perception of the world. Welcome to feeling right. Welcome to reality.