In Dr. Rinn's waiting room, I don't remember breathing. I felt hyped, uncomfortable, stubborn. It all seemed so strange, in Dr. Rinn's house. Then Dr. Rinn appeared. I was in my late twenties. Dr. Rinn forty five or fifty never said a word. He just glistened. Initially I waited for Dr. Rinn to initiate my emoting. Then becoming contemptuous I got tossed from the office. It took me a few days to realize I needed that therapy. I called and apologized. It was a turning point. Knowing I needed to learn the work and I would follow directions. Returning I felt young, innocent, clean. That was motivating.
Then I really got into emoting. Weeks of going at it and I knew I didn't want to stop. It was like finding a warm friend. Then I understood what had happened. I had a realization. I was breathing deeply. As I expressed anger, I could see my cold, non existing mother. Dr. Rinn gave me a knowing look. I finally felt at ease. I understood my shrinking. Expressing myself led to punishment. Orgone expression is anathema to the Emotional Plague. As I left the office, my light step reminded me that like that little girl I felt relieved, satisfied.
As my Orgone became felt, new memories of struggling, of being squeezed. Mom is drugged. She has no pleasure in the "operation". I am suffocating but this fish twists out. The struggle caused a hernia. My Orgone flattened. We all know the rest. Idiot Doctors torture the baby. Climaxing in circumcision, or neglect or both. Being born could be everyone's first success: rewarded with wet, delicious smell and glorious sweet milk. Fully Orgone.
Parents, culture missed the fact that miserable teenagers who are thoroughly depressed, need not only the words, I love you, but the closeness of a appropriate naked embrace. Do you think all the armored soon to be addicted people would be confused, make angry foolish choices if they were touched, loved. Addiction is a attempt to unlock. If clouds didn't move they would be like addicted people; stuck in one expression. frozen Orgone, pushed out, or not there, and eternally trying to be again.
When I laid there breathing, expanding filled till I knew the difference between the rage of a neglected, repressed shrunk not flowing Orgone, compared to an alive pleasurable experiencing adult. Rage is the loss of love. But for most of us we project and modify rage into a manipulative, spiteful, sneaky way of releasing our Orgone.
Orgone Therapy teaches awareness and appropriate emoting: relieving intense tension that resulted from neglect, from being abused. Sadly humans also suffer from lack of touch, closeness. Humans are unlike newly born animals who lick their baby from one end to the other. Animals know instinctively this moves, reassures Orgone, and gives confidence. Humans bottle feed and substitute a cat or a dog for intimacy. Mother, baby intimacy is paramount to give balanced reminders that will be pursued during their life. Now pleasure, contact is built into babies understanding. Cruelty from a loving childhood does not exist.
Practicing what Dr. Rinn directed opened me to feelings. Confidence lets the flow happen spontaneously. Orgasm became startling. No longer lost, grateful to know life. I thirsted for animal closeness. I expressed armor's Pandora's Box and my Orgone appeared.
