Control and Opening the Door

The mask is a possum for me. How does the mask become known?
How does the mask equal a lump of coal? How does deadening of the feelings occur?
No movement of energy in the body is like a mask; the mask is a cover up for hidden guerrilla
anger. As a baby the only way to survive is to become the possum, to hide, to cry is to illicit anger or confused responses. What does the babies crying mean? By putting on a mask
the mask saves your life and the mask reassures everyone that all is well.
The flat smiling baby begins his new journey seeking who am I.

I have pondered pictures of the door and the door symbolic significance for a while.
Today I see the door as a symbol of my stilled energy. The door is me deciding not to experience my dysfunctional world. As a baby I began the process of closing down my breathing, dulling my feelings; flatlining my expressions so as not to make myself too visible to myself or my world: life was to dangerous. Becoming that lump of coal is safe.

Freud got sublimation right. Not knowing how to find satisfaction one finds escape in sublimation fulfilling. Sublimation a better form of addiction. Not as dangerous also accepted often applauded.
One of the most insidious ways of sublimation is to give up your life for your children. Because knowing how to feel is so hidden and obscure and prevalent in our society and approved you can substitute your focus onto children and forget your unhappiness.


Work another great substitution. Survival and children what better escapes, and necessary. Sublimation like addiction focuses oneself outside the flow of self regulated streaming of the Orgone(energy).
The pulse of energy lies ready to emerge. Behind that closed door initially lies
bursting uncontrollable energy; like a sudden flood.
A Orgonomist needs to be there to lead you to safety.
The door holds the energy flat. The flatness and disappearance of feeling invisibly holds the pain of rejection. To feel is to be punished. 

Telling the truth is
the first step to losing control of the fantasy that you are in control. Acknowledging that you do not know how the truth will affect anybody's response begins the magical scary movement of feeling life's streaming flow of energy. Easy to say, difficult to want to experience. Loss of control is exciting but now the vortex of memory surfaces and the emotions of previous non controllable moments envelope you. Loss of control can bring on the panic of previous memories affecting the present. Not prepared for the frenzy of these panicked emotions or the ability or the tools to understand we panic, we fall back to previous addictive behaviors to take away feeling in all its vulnerabilities. Ultimately if you get through the panic without exercising drug control or other types of control than you awaken on the shore of the Scifi nature of our
growing pulsating being.

Emotional Plague, the emotional web that inflicts all of us. The emotional plague a term coined
by Dr. Reich to signify deep rooted emotional sickness that like a virus spreads invisibly
through human contact. Not wanting to see our parents, doctors, everyone dysfunctions
we join them by wrapping our energetic streams in knots blocking our flow of self awareness.
With the help of an Orgonomist who with the help of Dr. Reich's  Orgone Therapy can slowly prod
the unwrapping of the energy. This process is slow and dangerous. No one wants to feel how screwed up they are, and how lost they are. Panic begins to happen at the first sign of this ragged truth. Not remembering how to express fear causes the panic. The fear has unconscious memories that one instinctively repressed of not being cared for and that your survival is dependent on adults that mean well in there dysfunction.
Babies (also adults in emergencies) defense is to close off the fear till there is time to be safe. Now during other fear inducing experiences as an adult the repressed fear will begin to emerge and you will panic because no one has taught or modeled for you how to feel. Panic is bursting Orgone.


The web of feeling has no floor and going with the stream of energy is new.
Accept the panic, express the fear, and trust your energy will slowly lead you to the next feeling. Remember what you, me practiced, tried in Therapy, now use the panic to remember the past.
Seeking understanding is a worthy pursuit and  achieved after allowing feelings to move through our organism.

New day

Every breath I take I give thanks to Dr. Reich and Dr. Rinn; Dr. Reich discovered how to unlock feelings in human beings and for Dr. Rinn for being wise and patient. Believe me Dr. Rinn saved my life by applying Dr. Reich's amazing Orgone therapy. Not only was I a middle class brat but an ex hippie wannabe rebel going nowhere. Soon to walk into a truck or a violent relationship. 

Addiction and denial were in every one of my breaths. I was frozen: couldn't let go and experience the natural expression of laughter without drugs. I felt so weird; felt so strange. When my ex wife who was seeing a Orgone Therapist laughed so deeply I knew I needed to see Dr. Rinn.

Addiction. If You or I could experience our flow of pulsating energy without freaking out both of us would be not only free of addiction but also have a satisfied and happy life. So much for wishes.

With every breath energy is taken in and stimulates the release of energy in the body.

How does the energy feel? Like a tingling. Like you belong. Like a bird lifting within you. Like the gentle roll of the ocean. Like a large amoeba pulsing and weirdly conscious.

Our energy should rise and fall like a wave: the in breath similar to falling wave and the out breath the upward swell of the wave all producing the rise and fall of the pulsating orgone within us. Unlocking the movement within us is the work: if love is rarer than gold it's because becoming Orgone aware is the job of a lifetime. Though every step feels good.

What holds one back becoming this new person?

Learning to express your feelings is like being born anew except tearing down ones armor is

letting go of the character that has stabilized and saved your life. Floating in Orgone sounds good but for the emotional plagued it a journey that makes conquering Everest seem easy.

But the view from half way is spectacular.