Shock

  

Anorgonia is a reappearance of buried Orgone's struggle to express the abuse, validation, and physical neglect of ones early family, often coincides with disease. Anorgonia is horrendous, and life threatening and wipes out Orgone and motivation. Dr. Reich summarizes his anorgonia cases in The Cancer Biopathy.  . 

No one was their.

I laid their addicted to

The sunshine. I would wait it

Out,.

I went on.

I didn't know there would be a murderous 

Late payment

Anorgonia.

Devastating is that me?  It is push and disappear. It is ugly. When telling the truth is frightening than Orgone pushes forward and then back. Going to get hit. Saying I'm here and your going to get hit. The answer from them is devastating, it's cellular.  There is no body, no Orgone, just words by the walking dead. In therapy reliving this tragedy is overwhelming: life missed. It is a hole that I fell into. I disappeared.

What I needed, wanted was flesh closeness. Not getting this life saving closeness causes a flattening, a stilling. Symbolically, and physically it's a no body. As an adult that is a fall. I cannot stand without a body. 

I had to experience my earliest abuse: being not  touched, no loving hands, no soft warm breast. I went into hibernation. I never woke to Orgone. Over time Orgone flow gets buried and I lived with a diminished self. It is a black hole of disappearance. It's there forgotten, furious. That black hole is a dead sun. It is broken. It's real.

It was dangerous accessing my earliest neglect. A solid abuse lived in me. Orgone stayed buried in the  past. Initial Orgone would totally fill me and depress me. Now I new the difference. My disappearing Orgone was no mother, no loving contact. When remembered as an adult, it was finally an Emotional Plague. That was what saved me. A held in discomfort. Orgone's Therapies knowledge told me to emote, breathe. A memory that made me move, to emote the neglect and not lay there comatose waiting for mother to come. She didn't come. She was the walking Emotional Plague. She could not give me closeness which would have activated my body.

.

You cannot change the past, you can react to the past. Orgone reemerging. That is the struggle, reenergizing as an adult. The parts of you that were needed to hide must be seen. Those first few years needed to be super secure. If not the babies cellular response is contraction, automatic. The thorough disappearance of adult pleasure is the earliest abuse emerging. The key is learning how to breathe, emote and inch by inch experiencing plasma motility in the body. The bodies Orgone will open up constricted plasma. Make sure you have paid attention to opening up the body by reaching to closed parts. The soreness will let you know that your opening buried Orgone.   

Orgone knowledge is essential when you have anorgonia. Those contractions are deep and unconscious. Practicing the Gag reflex that is taught in Orgone Therapy helps to identify the hidden deep cellular stillness. The gag reflex awakens over time Orgone flow. The spontaneity of my new motility has no conscious control. I look forward to the Orgone surprise movement. Orgone movement is alive with its own timing. Orgone is the bigger part of me that I suppressed. Orgone moving outward is pleasure. Orgone is life's expression.

Dr. Reich Video

Captures my experience of Dr. Reich.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKiK5afXYgg

Are You Healthy?

Dr. Reich asked Myron Sharaf on their first meeting.

The question has huge meaning. 

Dr. Reich was immediately evaluating Myron Sharaf's health by verbal and Orgone projection. Having healthy, dedicated colleagues was needed to balance the work. The knowledge that was needed would encompass all aspects of love for your fellow humans. When the Orgone has no restrictions than spontaneity feels honest, wholesome, and integral. Hence are you healthy? 

Dr. Reich was a humanitarian. By the very nature of his work, his empathy for human sickness was paramount. Our western culture is filled with the Emotional Plague. The danger of humans misery and poor choices was Dr. Reichs healing pursuit. 

Grieven

 My mother didn't have much to do with me. I was the third child and my mother only had energy for two. My dad was at work, and was left on my own. My mother cooked for my father. She was old schooled that way. She would perform all her wifely duties, as long as he was  providing. 

 I was the helper when Mom went shopping, Sawdust on the floor that was the butcher shop. Chicken's in the back in cages and the blue flames . An odd smell. Later I realized it was the burnt feathers. Blue flames were always on. No words between me and my Mom. I was there to help. She could have been anyone. I was bored except for the blue dreams.. 

Usually during the winter I would not be outside. No one was out to play. My mother was cooking. So I stood and watched. It could be chicken soup with eggs that were still in the chicken. Making blintzes was my favorite. She would mix together flour, milk and egg and presto, a blintz. I would get the broken ones. Chopped liver was not a favorite. It had a strong taste. Schmaltz, chicken fat, would be added. Then the secret onion recipe. Onion chopped and slowly cooked till they were dark and brown. Crispy, crunchy, sweet . 

 Every Friday night was the big dinner. It was chicken soup, roast beef  and well done vegetables. There wasn't much gab. My family was a refugee family. Mom had come over from somewhere European. She never told me. My brother had more info. He thinks Poland. My sister was distant.The worst smell was cooked fishes, gefilter. If you ate it with horseradish it was bearable.

Though I miss  my family umbrella's safety, when I look at my Grandparents picture I am awakened to fear. My mother looked like my grandmother, a big round tank, and my Grandfather, thin, tight and held in. I can see the horrendous struggle they endured. I am thankful they survived. I never wanted to be them. and knew I was broken by them.

Grieven is onions cooked long, brown, crispy and sweet. When you're a Jew you have been used, abused, murdered, cooked, turned brown, thin,or huge to forget the abuse. Grief was held in till one way or another till it killed you. I grieve for all who have been abused.

A panacea can be insidious, it can be love. Being included in the family with nickel and dime love is abusive. The family by not allowing feelings to be expressed is depression. Love as control is the foundation of the Emotional Plague character. If control is all you get your release will be addiction. Being fearful to express anger, sadness, fear at not being heard leads to a loss of what it is to be a human animal. As an adult a failure to express yourself leads to dissatisfaction. The lack of Orgone movement and its Orgasm reflex will be buried in addictive confusion. On one's journey to self enlightenment the movement of Orgone often becomes confused with memories of childhood denial of expression. The families memories needs to be dredged up and fear, anger, sadness expressed. In my case I sat down with my mother and told her how I felt and what I experienced.Though she denied everything and wrote me out of her will, I felt I had found my integrity.

The need for loves singular connection arises spontaneously. The hard work has been done and Orgone knows being alive seeks shared flow into another with all the breath, the smells, the glory of completion.

Leonard Cohen knows love is written into our being. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM7vULqs31Q