Shock Motherless

  

No one was there.

I laid there addicted to

The sunshine. I would wait it

Out.

I went on.

I didn't know there would be a murderous 

Late payment

Anorgonia.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpNY4cZpGMU

Anorgonia is the overwhelming difficulty of adult's buried Orgone to express the abuse, lack of validation, and physical neglect of ones early family. Dr.Reich treated Anorgonia with cancer patients and schizophrenia patients. Repressed abuse when stimulated by present abuse increases the feeling of loss; it's overwhelming. The past held minimal contact but a baby had high Orgone to promote continuation and laying there was not work; now adults reexperiencing contactless has to rely on conscious breathing to overcome ones lack of Orgone and it feels impossible. Dr. Reich summarized his Anorgonia cases in The Cancer Biopathy. Basically the prognosis sounds simple, express past abuse and it won't pollute present decisions and Anorgonia will dissolve. The huge problem is often  the patient has no no idea what feelings are. or Anorgonia has wiped out wanting to emote, because the abused old feeling's was devestading and the realization was your life has been poisoned by it. 

Anagonia feels like it is the only feeling that exists, and you weigh a ton and can't move or breathe. The past can feel like the present. One has lived one's upbringing till adulthood and abuse has been integrated into one's character and needs tremendous focus to unravel. The blocks are invisible to the person and the old character has worked till now and it's conscious appearance is all inclusive. Yet it is damaging and must be expressed and change to a reality that can ex[ress the rage at being abused.

I felt different. One that had been drugged. I could see but that was it. I couldn't survive. I finally emoted. The earliest emotions needed to be expressed. The anorgonia was the frozen fear of the old reality that was toxic. Breathing opens the buried pulse.  It was not a straight line but it didn't feel like I would die until now.

Devastated is that me?  It is push, reach out and disappear. It is ugly. When telling the truth is frightening. Orgone pushes forward and then back. Going to get hit. Saying I'm here and you're going to get hit. The answer from them is devastating, it's cellular. There is no body, no Orgone, just words by the walking dead. In therapy reliving this tragedy is overwhelming: life missed; it is a hole that I fell into. I disappeared. Then I released uncontrollable addictions hiding in secondary emotions. What I needed, wanted was flesh closeness. Not getting  life saving closeness causes a flattening, a stilling. Symbolically, and physically it's a no body. As an adult that is a fall,  a precursor for death, a reminder of being an abused baby. I cannot stand without a body.

 

The first armor, the earliest, happens in the womb, disturbances in mother's body and the  tongue gets flatned. Thumb sucking becomes the first addiction. Then born without loving hands, no soft warm breast will lead to collapse, a fall. It is a free fall without Orgone. I went into hibernation. I never woke to Orgone. and I lived with a diminished self. It is a black hole of disappearance. The social nature of our species leads to some Orgone, as an adult it's a temporary respite.

It was dangerous accessing my earliest neglect. A solid abuse lived in me. Orgone stayed buried in the past. Now I know the difference. My disappearing Orgone was no mother, no loving contact. When I remembered as an adult, it was the Emotional Plague, that saved me, a held in discomfort. Orgone Therapy's knowledge told me to emote, breathe. A memory that made me move, to emote the neglect and not lay there comatose waiting for mother to come. She didn't come. She was the walking Emotional Plague. She could not give me closeness which would have activated my body.

You cannot change the past; you can react to the past. Orgone reemerging. That is the struggle, reenergizing as an adult. The parts of you that were needed hid and must be seen, experienced, and expressed. Those first few years needed to be super secure. Mother must be lovingly shared. If not, the babies cellular response is contraction, automatic. 

Make sure you have paid attention to opening up the body by reaching to closed parts. The soreness will let you know that your opening buried Orgone.  The key is learning how to breathe, emote, and inch by inch, experiencing plasma motility in the body. Breathing deeply should not be tiring. Breathing is the communication  that induces Orgone movement. Breathing elicits a satisfied knowing of the effortless instinctual movement of the respiratory process. Ultimately allows one to become aware of the Orgone movement, emotions, and begin to experience pleasure.

It is life or death and I had to find Orgone. let Orgone direct me. Not having the Orgone moving is armored. Its the Emotional Plague. It is an addiction expressing secondary emotions through a perverted release. It is dangerous. The life missed is misery, welcomes death. Instead do what you learned. move. Overcoming that sinking, horrendous outcome is an instinctual expression of pleasure. Through therapy Orgone has slowly awakened and now Orgone moves. I moved. Culmination, pleasure returns. Know that being alive is the wonders of feeling Orgone. Anorgonia is  past abuse. Orgone streaming is pleasure that wipes out the desire to die.

The mother has to awaken the baby by one to one closeness, breastfeeding like all animals. This validation allows the baby to expand and contract, pulse. As an adult experiencing anorgonia has no conscious pulse, no contraction. You have to practice being reborn: practice emoting, practice contraction. Otherwise Orgone is forgotten, a black hole, a dead sun.

The loss of incentive to move forward brings up the pasts abuse. The return of the past, is an emptiness that blocks motivation, there is only hopelessness. An alarm is going off for you pay attention to your breathing and you will notice its shallow. It happened invisibly. You must open your breathing with full deep inhalation and exhalation. Running in place will open breathing reflexively. reminder of a deeper experience, a remembrance of health. Use your years of emoting to lift oneself out of a past trauma.

Orgone Therapies  knowledge is essential when you have anorgonia. Even when you have been in Orgone Therapy Anorgonia's reappearance, like all feelings, is totally present. As a baby complete contactless was liveable; as an adult Orgone Therapies directions must be activated. or you will die.  Unlocking needs help and the gag reflex

that is taught in Orgone Therapy helps to identify the hidden deep cellular stillness. 

As one is going through awareness it becomes evident that  shallow breathing has lowered Orgone in the body. One needs to respond to the overwhelming old abusive feelings overtaking consciousness. Old emotions can feel new. The past can feel like the present. 

As recommended by Dr. Reich, an essential to alleviating anorgonia is to sit in an orgone accumulator or be covered by an Orgone Blanket.  Having Orgone recharge from these amazing Orgone accumulators will provide fresh Orgone to stimulate consciousness to emote to lessen contractions, to feel pleasure, and feel balanced. The spontaneity of my new motility has fuller consciousness of Orgone's knowledge. Full bodily expression is alive with its own timing.  Orgone is life's expansion.  

For further information see Cosmic Superimposition by Wilhelm Reich  Pg. 216, 217