I once saw Martha Stewart fold a fitted sheet. It took about 14 steps to make it lie flat and square and then to put it into her perfectly fitted organized closet. I was flabbergasted. Perfection can be away to hide secrets. If it is viewed as success than no need to look beneath the veneer.
I have been a detective all my life trying to figure out my life. There was no halo above my head just trial and error. No one in my family saw fit to explain anything to me. On the whole this was a dangerous way to grow up but better than the make do philosophy of my peers. Basically don't examine and make money. Understandable but sure fire way to ultimately be miserable: without love, and knowledge, addiction is a poor lover. So what is the chance for any type of happiness in our culture, when to have any fun and release one needs to break the rules. Then you have secrets and that means addictive patterns.
First addiction can be anything that moves the Orgone but is actually filled with anxiety, and some pleasure. Control the reality, project perfection and ones addiction, betrayal and shame is hidden. As a adult secrets leads to dishonesty and misery.
I was living with a French cook and I got huge. Put the food in front of me and I was addicted. Food in my family was the only pleasure and a big part of escape. Pizza down the street, bakeries on every corner. Then of course puberty came and the complications of another primal drive. Often addiction can be sexual; relieving the boredom by having many assignations keeps one in a strange game of perpetual addiction.
As a baby, as a child being isolated by typical abuses breeds a cruel and murderous unconscious. I froze the movement of Orgone as a baby to protect myself from the abuse. All it took was nothing. My unconscious did the rest. By holding down orgone flow by contraction I was able to block the memory of abuse. Then those unexpressed feelings fester, multiply and breed addiction and the Emotional Plague becomes ones character.
When I had no movement, I had no feelings, and I would lay in my crib neglected by the hours happy not to be abused either by incompetent Doctors or by unfeeling adults. Staying hidden protected me from the abusers. The abusers when named liberate old feelings.
The addict's excess Orgone has there own hidden needs and must be actualized. When Orgone is blocked by armor, through the holding in of hidden feelings then the resulting hidden anger will be metamorphosed through addiction and not be conscious. The armor now has restricted consciousness; cruelty, contempt. A nasty character becomes the face of addiction; and that anger is unpredictable. Those cruel ,memories are festering held in rage one has forgotten, and now energize your addiction; addiction is a continuous compulsion to find some pleasure and some release from past abuse. Addiction is the release valve on ones consciousness, on ones Orgone. One way or another, even transposed, those hidden feelings will be expressed. The pressure to release the excess Orgone is stupefying.
Addictions partial release is what drives addictions continuation, and out of control feels good. Pleasure, the movement of Orgone to the surface of the body without total release is addictive. The desire for unlocking one's unsatisfied frozen Orgone with addictive pleasure compels the addictive action. Orgone stuck is frozen character, a mask that can not be satisfied: a full release that will not be found.The horror, the tapestry of our culture, is blinded to these truths, and denies there value. Tragedy after tragedy and I see no end of their ignorance.
My realizations continues, and as my controls dissolve. I am experiencing more of the excitement of a balanced life. I have been fortunate to have been in Orgone Therapy. Secrets and addictions go together. Both can be isolating. Both take away sharing ones reality. Sharing one's Orgone is a recognition of one of the great moments in history: Dr. Reich's Theory that humans are Orgone producers and need to express the extra produced Orgone, orgasmically, through sexual intercourse. It is the complete sexual release that ends addiction.
