When I became aware of my Orgone streaming I recognized how much Orgone moved to my bodies surface, and how much pleasure I missed by my absent, neglectful mother. Anger is frustrated pleasure. Anger streams powerfully, to the surface of the body; while pleasure would have continued filling fully, softly to the surface. Orgone was an ever going discovery. The amount of Orgone varied continuously and I had to experience streaming, through Orgone Therapy, to experience its movement.
Laying there, I am conscious. I am in a room. No one is there. I continue to lay there. Now I want what was missing. It's a fruitless search. I am off. I am lost, off. I am dizzy, conscious where no one gives a moment about me. I am fading and disappearing. My breath, my lungs hardly move.
As with all my posts it started with Orgone Therapy: with Dr. Rinn's teaching me breathing, with sound on the exhale. The sound alerts you to feeling the hiding and the ah sound accompanies streaming through the body. If I wasn't conscious of my breath it meant that I wasn't in my body. I was shallow breathing, armored, and addicted.
Blocked meant your vision of your surroundings didn't compute and decisions were corrupted by secondary emotions. The journey to self regulation begins with an awareness that one needs help. Pleasure is Orgone Streaming that spontaneously occurs when full respiration is not inhibited, and emotions are freely expressed.
When abused either verbally or physically the body protects itself by pulling in and collapsing, particularly in the vulnerable midsection. Breathing almost stops and tension stops the feeling of abuse. If your small, or unable to fight back, than the hate and anger needs to be released as an adult. Dr. Reich explains that having an armored midsection is tantamount to making bad decisions: unconscious of the crap your getting yourself involved in.1.
Now I had complete breathing. The first couple days I was pleased. Then one morning I had an explosion of vomit. Complete breathing had brought up old hate. No one cared. I could feel a blocked awareness I had never experienced. I attributed this newness to breathing. To inhale was charging and pelvic slight loosening; the exhale with Orgone movement was releasing. It came together. I was damned angry. Breathing deeply opened repressed memories that escaped like bandits.
In the midsection is the liver. Chinese medical theory purports the liver is the seat of anger. Interesting connection. Unconsciously that is also where Orgone gets thoroughly blocked. Vomiting voluntarily helps stimulate, and unlock Orgone in the liver: Orgone streaming expressed by the liver is healing and pleasurable. 2.
Lately I've noticed that my additional breathing style involved a stimulation of my mid section. Deep breathing always involved the midsection but now I was conscious of the pelvic and sacrum being involved. Definitely powerful. I could now focus on pursuing my primary needs: love spontaneously shared
Myriad abuses leads to shallow, unconscious breathing. Human stillness forms a shield, armor that blocks awareness. Addiction is a futile attempt to let go of contraction and for a few moments feel alive, instead of bored, miserable and confused.
1. Of course the solar plexus is right there.
2. Martial Artists, Chi Kung etc. consider the mid section the seat of power.
