28 Names For Snow

The movement of Orgone in my body has been buried in tension.  Addiction is a result of the stilling of the Orgone. The search for a addictive pleasure is being unaware of the Orgone streaming and will keep you living outside yourself, planning, organizing, and keeping busy; basically looking for your next hobby, or addiction. 

How many names for the energy, Orgone, Prana, Chi, Ki, that is in your body? Yet no names for the actual movement of Orgone.It is simple very few people have accessed those currents that are moving or really for most of us not moving.

Perhaps coming up with names that are more descriptive for the movement of Orgone will clue us into navigating our own Orgone matrix more successfully. The names I want to come up with are descriptions of the actual movements of the Orgone. Fear could be named sudden storm, anger could be called boiling. Joy could be called

no gravity and grief could be called drowning. Anxiety can be called rising and falling with no destination. Depression can be called horse on chest. Roller Coaster panic. Rocket fear. There can be many names for the different aspects of the movement.

 A a baby when  abused, the anger moved, rose to the surface. Than fear accompanied the movement, the muscles locked and froze the Orgone as armor.  Any movement might initiate the abuse again. Being still felt safe. I call this the void. This habitual pattern blocks the initial first rush of Orgone release. The initial release is like the breaking of a dam. That is one reason for the therapist, it's dangerous to experience feeling streaming Orgone. It is a shock that scares you into thinking something is really wrong.

For the lucky few addiction can lead to therapy. Ultimately the flow of Orgone is smooth sailing. Light breeze. Lunch served. The silent knowing.

It's Easy Addiction

Two reasons addictions are prevalent:
first our culture and families are not modeling addictive free behavior,
secondly addiction is easy.

Compare how easy it is to eat my favorite bunch of donuts to
accessing my hidden feelings. Since it has
been easy to feel pleasure, and you haven't worked to understand how to find pleasure by challenging yourself, by learning new behavior, by finding satisfaction in growth than that smug attitude will appear. You no longer need other people because you have your addiction or you need other people to vent your addiction.

The result is the same isolation and a descent into a destructive life.
Learning about yourself and how examining one's life is hard work. Yet built into your being is the ability to find pleasure by challenging yourself, by growing, by changing. Knowing the journey is difficult gives one empathy, compassion for all.

The Problems Are Many The Answer Is Simple

When the wind, Orgone, in us rises to the surface, I am reminded how simple life can be; like a kite moving, the wind in the sails.

Except for most of us the horror of childbirth blocks the flow of Orgone, instead depresses the Orgone and freezes the movement, producing a shield that Dr. Reich called armor. The Orgone locks for many reasons: first not to feel the horror that produced the depression and secondly as a child it is the only form of protection available. Not experiencing one's environment begins a protection like waiting for the storm to pass before going out. Paradoxically that frozen diminished life also produces an anger that must be expressed in some way. Addiction is often the only way to release that held in anger.
Not only does your armor use your energy it also shields the realization that your original needs will never be met. This instinct allows the child to survive.

When the abuse continues than the catastrophic problem is that we ultimately believe that this frozen state is normal. Later when your an adult the held in Orgone will often unlock spontaneously and you'll be inappropriate. Often our only answer in our search for answers is sadly addiction. The desire to feel alive, to feel some release, to feel the Orgone move in our body is so frustrated that addiction seems satisfying. The journey to realization is complicated and without the help of a Orgone Therapist tragic. In the meantime reach out to friends who you can be honest with. Telling your truth is helpful.Feeling the wind of  a new beginning lifts the pasts anchor.
.

Armor

Armor is a term I throw around allot. Dr Reich used it to describe
The hardened musculature. The problem I had with understanding
how armor affected me was that armor for most of us begins
when your a baby. Armor happens instinctively. Simply one tightens one's
muscles to protect oneself. Armor gives a form of protection. Not acted on becomes forgotten and
the armor becomes unconscious, and when I am unconscious
I just don't believe armor ever happened. I didn't want to let go of the
constricted muscles because first off it was a habit, and secondly it allowed me to disappear.
Slow down the movement of energy in the body and not only are you out
of touch but also have too much energy centered in the mind. Dr.Reich
spent much of his life helping patients reestablish their energetic flow through the body.



Armor

I sit sweating in the humidity.
Now alone I read the coming attractions.
Playgrounds need sand, swings and screaming children.
When I left the nest there was panic, and work and
Sometimes love, sometimes fulfillment.

The theater is empty, the chairs are stacked and
Heavy, the exit sign is burning.
The buzz is getting louder.
I am looking for the way out, the silent
Scream that stitches me closed.
The lion that lies within.

Try Out

I've been concentrating on writing a poetry cycle.
Basically four parts. It is based on Wilhelm Reichs
4 part cycle.



The Orgone Way

When all my hopes and plans
Fall apart, and all my desires are
Crushed. When my body shrinks
My hands shake, my vision blurs,
No friends to be found, family becomes
Strangers, than I know I will take the
Time to say how fortunate I am.
Fuel for my rage, fuel for my anger,
Fuel for my grief. Fuel for becoming
One with the Orgone.

When There Is No Love There Is Always Food

Tonight I'm planning an old favorite of Shrimp in a Boat. When I was a kid we went to Nathans
in Coney Island. Fried Shrimp with tartar sauce in initiall paper boat (later plastic boat).
Sweet it was with plastic family. Yes at times the family was paper but it was few and gnawed those times like that old bone. Food so primal. Eating fills me with pleasure. Survival allows me to seek other pleasures. Food so necessary for making my life better. I'm all for making life better. Turning the dark and light into better.
For me knowledge comes after feeling. Sometimes years. I'll be walking empty headed wondering what the next will bring and then I recognize that is what it meant. So I'm more patient these day, thanking  my teachers for their shoulders.

I rush to the rose garden.
Twilight and the view.
The music of the spheres is playing my
Song in sunset red.
The clouds form
A Blakian man on one knee.
Looking up I
Wonder if I'm falling or getting
Up. Diamonds in the sky looking
Into my heart.
I am being called.
Not knowing if I
Passed or failed.
I stare with all my
Soul. Hours go by.
The next day I see the same
Figure in a gallery.
Years later I see the same figure on
The cover of a Book Of Job.
The falling begins the rising.

Peepers

Its spring.

The peepers sounds in the  pond.

Holding hands. Your blue eyes 

Comforting. Sharing the birds flight.

The uplifting tree.

The tomato smells, the lawn being cut. 

Your essence on me.

You call me to the kitchen.

We watch the Egret lift off.

The leaves are falling

Colored like a rainbow, the hot

Air balloon is rising.

The winter awaits us.

Were planning dinner. 

Snow underlines branches.

Our spirit rises up

Embracing we hear the peepers..

Start Again

Start Again

That storm we swallowed almost
Tore the armor off. A whale's cry
I held. That white lightening
Began pleasurably. Those waves.
Transmitted by her insect eyes
Were words, caught
By my antennas and returned.
Then that awesome fear rising,
Stamped down. I found you
In the bathroom, by the window,
By the ledge. 

Manhattan at 3 A.M. was better than that.

Taxi driver, shaved head, not talking, doing ninety.
The village gays, transsexuals.
Cars circling.
Screams, fights, knives.
The suction. The driver swerving.
The couple in the back praying.

Burried

Buried 

Forgotten breath.

Unrequited signs.

Retribution buried.

No clear path.

Finding the rhythm,

Economy of breath.

Pulled, woken by another

Hand.

I hear angels crying..

Gladîator

Gladiator One For The Mick


In Memory of Alfred Schweitzman





The banging of the black iron fence

Recalls my childhood. On my toes looking into

The bathroom mirror. The part

Must be straight.

Cowboy boots, new Levi Jeans,

Cowboy hat: I was ready for action.

Downstairs no one listens.

Outside the air cold pure,

Like it was for the dinosaurs.

My club, a stick, I use to rattle

The iron fence. My hair blows in the wind.

Little boy with your shiny brown

Hair I hear you crying.

I’ll be good; I’ll be good God.

The rain came and it bubbled in

The gutter. The bubbling

No more rain, too bad.



My mother not once

Comes to say goodnight;

That’s dad’s job.

The night the aerie hum begins.

Who are those heads floating out

Of the locked closet?

Hearing voices I crawl.

Outside my sisters room. I

Watch through a mirror.

My mother studies my sister

At three A.M. telling her men

Only want sex.

Talking props.

Now my mother waits for me at the

Door. I shrink.



The gatling stick on the iron fence

Accompanies me. Leaves are falling,

I kick them.

Meeting your friends helps.

Alfie yelling out his window

He’ll be down. Shelly’s there and Joel

And Nat and Allen : our rogue family.

Each has his own guiding star.


The Mick is pulling me to

The schoolyard.

The Mick’s speed, strength:

A river of power. He knows

The taping ritual. He saviors

 

The batting box where the pain leaves.

The Mick’s beatific smile

Never reveals his injuries;

Thousands roar. Pain no more.

Spartacus with a bat.



The boy saw it like the moon.

He smacked it with his bat.

A whirlwind of power could change everything.

Gladiators never die.

My troop is waiting for me,

And the staccato of the iron fence.

Dr. Wilhelm Reich

I am adding a update on this post because the title makes it seem like I'll be writing about Dr. Reich. I am writing about how his therapy he developed changed my life. Though as an introduction I'll heartily recommend one of his great books, Character Analysis, third edition, for me it's The Bible of our times: it is the treatise for 21 Century Psychological Therapy but also the therapy of the future, Orgone Therapy.

There is way too much for me too say, and I am chagrined, embarrassed to even begin to review Dr. Reich's book. Suffice it to say that I am a Jail House Reichian. What that means is Dr. Reich's work saved my life, and I can go on and on about the work. 

Addiction is better than being depressed, in fact addiction temporarily relieves depression. Now one feels good, alive and let us not question results, and addiction takes root. Relieving depression means you feel pleasure. Orgone has been moved and the anxiety also feels relieved. Not only is the addictive state blocking anxiety but also feels comfortable. Good chance the addictive feeling reminds one of a childhood feeling of safety.

.

Being an adult one goes out and seeks pleasurable experiences. The search causes some trepidation and fear. Feeling especially vulnerable, causes a falling back into controlling your fear by choosing an addictive pursuit. 
Addiction often feels like you have acted correctly until the addictive substance wears off.

Let your unrestricted breathing be your addiction. Be prepared to experience the full yin and yang of life. Why is the addictive state better than breathing and relationship? The armor is holding the Orgone from moving outward. Once upon a time the armor formed to block out horrible experience.  Addictive substances are used to feel pleasure without the memories of the trauma. We like the addiction.

We all ran from the abuse once and to experience the abuse as an adult is still as difficult; perhaps more difficult because you have to expunge the past and we fight like hell not to. That is why you have millions of people going around saying it is not necessary to be in therapy. Remove the addiction and one will experience awareness of what caused you to choose addiction. Flush the addiction away too quickly and panic will arrive.

The movement of Orgone in the body for the addicted is invisible. The compelling nature of addiction is the need for the addictive state. Addiction is a wall that protects the person from experiencing truly feeling. Addiction feels better than confused, depressed state but only as long as the addiction lasts. Than one is back to being flat or anxious etc. Not only are you concerned with anxiety but also the murderous response when you tell the abuser how pissed you are with affect. The armor is a double edge sword;:protects  you, keeps you safe and murders your own feelings.

Here is the horrible rub addiction is a horrible habit that seems to solve a problem. The excitement from the addictive choice moves the Orgone and excites the person. If one can choose therapy and the practice of learning about how Orgone moves in your body than inch by inch one can slowly drop the addiction.

One of Dr. Reich's colleagues, Dr. Sharaf said, when one is feeling different and one is working on changing, that new feeling will be uncomfortable but you will know your on the right track. Expansion of Orgone will bring new directions and better choices to your life. Dr. Reich's life was a living monument that loved human's potential. Dr. Reich worked feverishly to bring healing to humanity. He understood the immense yearnings that were squashed by modern cultures complexity and discovered ways to illuminate the difficult journey of awareness. Instead of being celebrated he was persecuted.

I read Character Analysis periodically when I feel confused, worried and the book never fails to refocus me. The third edition is Dr. Reich's up to date info on Orgone, the energy that Dr. Reich finally utilized late in his therapy, and research. Dr. Wolfe the translator worked closely with Dr. Reich. My favorite chapter is The Schizophrenic Split. Dr. Reich explains through careful sessions with his patient the etiology of the schizophrenic split.

Why is Dr. Reich still maligned? Human misery seeks release and the one eyed in a blind world is murdered for reminding them of being crippled. Today we are fortunate to read Dr. Reich's work and appreciate and relish his amazing detailed genius