Stress

No wisdom from a antidepressant.

I was put off. The rush from letting go of all that holding caught me by surprise. I was running from the Orgone and then I felt the surge. The past memories came, and all my mistakes, all my inappropriate anger: I was the past, I was tortured, and over time I became aware of of my unconscious armor that was poisoning my health.

Now flooded with change I was different and I would be different. It takes memories of therapy's amazement to continue practicing, remembering that being alive is spontaneous. The Orgone is the engine and it fills everything. Holding Orgone down is living life backwards. Thankfully Dr. Reich experienced Orgone and had the cojones to share the truth.

In Orgone Therapy I experienced relief, an aliveness to motivate me to make the effort. It is no mean feat. The early collapse feels like I am under a ton of mud. It has aged like the worst black mold. It insidiously is me. Finally an earlier deeper, Orgone arises and claims me. Remembered pleasure. I breathe.

Stress caused a falling back that became my solution. My character was formed under stress.  I disappeared, it worked. It's the character I met the world with; is the persona that leads us to addiction; it is the character that doesn't work. Than when we wish to change that character, the addiction can rear its ugly head. 

That is why when in therapy it is imperative to stay away from your family. They stimulate old behavior. It is also true that other stresses, death, loss of job, moving can also cause a fall back. How to deal with these stresses and not choose addictive behavior can be damn hard. In fact probably impossible. But still keep on moving ahead, by making mistakes and learning. Try not judging too hard, and practice emoting, 

The human beings physiology has activities that exist without our control: heart beat, and especially as children energy, Orgone, that is so plentiful: "Go outside and play. As a child it was easy to escape. Now when Orgone needs to be rational to deal with ones own failures it is essential to find time to emote appropriately. The way to relieve stress by activity, movement worked as a child but now it is an addictive escape. Use the past abuse to motivate change.

No key will open up the invisible Orgone hiding within a busted character. It takes being in Orgone Therapy. Learning by following instructions and then years of practicing. A life and death struggle that needs total commitment.