Afterwood Lost and Found

Did you get the love you needed as a baby, as a child, as a adult? If you did you will quickly leave this blog. In fact most people who accidentally trip over my writings will leave. Not because they received true emotional contact they had to have, but because they are in denial and projecting their armor, their defensive character, and have no idea what I am writing about. We have learned to accept ourselves as contactless but when stress is overwhelming it can ignite a failure of functioning,  Then if you haven't found an Orgone Therapist I hope my blog can help.

Your mother did not know how to emote and involuntarily has frozen her muscles and squeezed one's birth into a survival nightmare. You want to flow, to expand but having affect, having expressive feelings is alien to Western Culture, and one's birth has begun the trajectory of lack of physical closeness that will permeate one's existence. Everyone has forgotten their early trauma because survival demands activity and movement feels good.Then we find something that releases part of that tension, often we don't care if it is an addictive substance: could be food, family, sweets, coffee, wine, sex. What we have is no real understanding of addiction. As an adult its not the actual addictive substance you seek but the expressive anger at past forgotten abuses that couldn't be named and were not expressed. The addiction perverts the abuse by limiting understanding, and blends subconscious anger with the addiction. 

What is it that still causes the furor about Dr. Reich and Orgone Therapy? Adults have come to a denial of their armor and their character. Dr. Reich caused a earthquake in their perception of themselves. The fantasy that Dr. Reich revealed was that men and women were sick, armored, sexually perverted by not breathing fully, and subconsciously armoring their body by contracting muscle armor which blocked feeling abused, resulting in confusing thoughts and perverted  sexuallty. Feeling exposed  threatened their emotional control. Getting rid of Dr. Reich denied their emotional sickness. Dr. Reich persecuted, harassed, and ultimately wrongly incarcerated, and died in prison. Et Tu emotional plague..

Addiction became a pressure valve that released the build up of unresolved sexual Orgone. Addiction relieved some of the Orgone and the addiction became important and central to their life. Rational thinking does not happen becauses the body is armored and thought is sublimated by addiction. When your don't express a primary drive, orgasmic sexual  reflex, then rational thinking is perverted.

Without Dr. Wilhelm Reich's heroic life and the Orgone Therapy he developed, and  practiced by the master Therapist Dr. John Rinn, I would have missed being transformed. Every day I use The Therapy to help express my emotions, to not be inappropriate. Being appropriate, is being in contact with ones body and interacting with Orgone streaming and breathing consciously.Your not alone at being angry at being abused, addicted.

I am here because of Dr.Wilhelm Reich and Dr. Sigmund Freud. Their relationship and how it changed is the pivotal point of understanding what happened to human beings and the future of human consciousness. Freud ultimately felt limited sexuality needed to conform to culture while Reich uncovered cosmic Orgone Sexuality and its saving, healthy applications; not only for the individual but for future cultural generations. Dr. Reich was the Technology Director for Sigmund Freud's Psychoanalytical Seminars and after leaving taught others his discoveries which were buried in human bodies, subconscious, and unconscious. Dr. Reich evolved Dr. Freud's libidio theory and explained how learning how to fully express Orgasmic sexuality  heals the Orgone.

Orgone and Addiction

 

Addiction

 Addiction is the center of my writings based on Dr. Wilhelm Reich's Work. A desperate need to change must be accessed to resolve addiction. As important, the chosen therapy must produce immediate results. The patient must leave the session feeling saved, understood, relieved and hopeful that an answer has been found. Thankfully that is how Orgone Therapy worked for me.

Enclosed are some clips from my writings.

Mrs. Wilson, my fifth grade teacher, was a nasty, cane toting  teacher. We were controlled but our silent acknowledgement led to being covert, and unified. We would pool our money and sneak out to buy candy that we would share. That sugar rush that added to my food addiction. Candy, foods are an important distraction: boredom, controlled deadness could be perverted. A saving evil.

I looked at the white covering. It was  so sweet and the bread soft. I liked the attention. I liked the sweetness, it spread through me;  I was different, better. Later I knew why I would eat to feel different, special, an addict.

The baby has taken some control of his life at a tremendous cost. Control feels like you can survive and often during your life control is the difference between life and death. Control is a necessary skill that all of us need to wear like a coat . A coat that is up to us to put on or take off. The problem with control is when control starts at an early age and gets reinforced by further trauma than control becomes chronic and becomes a character formation. Control that is chronic stimulates a need for addictive release because it is not removable by the individual except by an outside addictive lifestyle. 

Life is movement. Like an amoeba, human beings' energy can be pulsing. Addiction is the substitution of a shallow pulse for life's satisfying primary pulse.
Children are born with the primary pulse and it is a natural unconscious reflex. As natural as a bird flying. From day one children feel the threat of cessation, of their pulse, as an immediate threat to their survival. Closing down by contracting the muscles allows a feeling of calmness to occur. The price for peacefully fitting in is the loss of flowing Orgone (energetic purpose). Addiction becomes a way of finding some small level of  excitement.  

Dr. Reich used the gag reflex. Put your finger softly in your throat to illicit the gag reflex. Don't push it down, tickle your throat. The gag reflex will unlock your compressed lungs. Your holding them flat by not breathing fully causing armor. You'll feel the release,and orgone moving to the surface of your body. Ultimately this will show you how Orgone moves. It is the most important information on Orgone movement when you have no idea what Orgone feels like. Its knowledge that you've repressing Orgone. Now you'll know that there is an unconscious, a forgotten memory. Until you express the contraction it stays contracted and forgotten. Becoming aware one is confusing addictions excitement with opening a compressed body allows natural, conscious Orgone excitement, The need for unhealthy choices lessens.

Work seems to be the addiction of our culture. Work is a slippery slope. Survival built into work can easily be justified by long hours, and excuses that seem reasonable. I have no time for reading; I have heard often enough or I am fine. Actually I have said versions of these myself. I worked 60 hours a week and had little time for  introspection and less time for meaningful connection. A deep rooted fear of losing control of my status and not receiving the attention I needed for survival had driven me to overwork. The culture of the West added to this crowning effect by giving work success all the rewards of a hero returning from battle

Accessing my Orgone, my core allowed me to understand my character; the ways I hold myself, the way I handle emotions, my tension. Being neglected, left out, ignored in the past will lead to addiction. Not achieving acknowledgement from the family, fairness from the culture, leads to seeking pleasure from addictions. Hidden family abusive memories have been forgotten and addictions keep them buried. Mapped in your Orgone flow, your posture your restricted breath, gives us a reference point to chart our goals. 

Dr. Reich Video

I have been to Wilhelm Reich's museum three times and a three day seminar. I have been on its Facebook page for years. Since Mary Boyd Higgins  died, she was Dr. Reich's editor and in charge of the Museum, new direction has taken place. I am not privy to its changes but its tone is authoritarian. Nerveless their continual exploring of  Dr. Reich's discoveries is encouraging. 

Of late the Museum wished everyone  Love, Work, Knowledge for the New Years. Having written  extensively on Love, Work and Knowledge,  I asked if I could post on their site.Their response was shocking. Without notifying me they wiped out my request. No explanation. By doing this suggests a cult like projection. I am disappointed, sadden that The Museum has stopped respecting new information, which  I feel would be inline with Dr.'s Reichs paradigm.

In reviewing the ending of Dr. Reich's video his awareness of his Orgone Energy consciousness separates himself from  the lack of consciousness of his associates. Perhaps the Museum needs to take notice.

As such I discontinued my membership.

.  

Captures my experience of Dr. Reich.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKiK5afXYgg

Are You Healthy?

Dr. Reich asked Myron Sharaf at their first meeting.

This question has huge meaning. 

Dr. Reich was immediately evaluating Myron Sharaf's health by verbal and Orgone projection. Having healthy, dedicated colleagues was needed to balance the work. The knowledge that was needed would encompass all aspects of love for your fellow humans. When the Orgone has no restrictions than spontaneity feels honest, wholesome, and integral. Hence are you healthy? 

Dr. Reich was a humanitarian. By the very nature of his work, his empathy for human sickness was paramount. Our  world is filled with the Emotional Plague. The danger of human misery and their poor choices was Dr. Reich's healing pursuit. 

Grieven

 My mother didn't have much to do with me. I was the third child and my mother only had energy for two. My dad was at work, and was left on my own. My mother cooked for my father. She was old schooled that way. She would perform all her wifely duties, as long as he was  providing. 

 I was the helper when Mom went shopping, Sawdust on the floor that was the butcher shop. Chicken's in the back in cages and the blue flames. An odd smell. Later I realized it was the burnt feathers. Blue flames were always on. No words between me and my Mom. I was there to help. She could have been anyone. I was bored except for the blue dreams.. Though I miss  my family umbrella's safety, when I look at my Grandparents picture I am awakened to fear. My mother looked like my grandmother, a big round tank, and my Grandfather, thin, tight and held in. I can see the horrendous struggle they endured. I am thankful they survived. I never wanted to be them. and knew I was broken by the pain that held them from sharing love. 

Usually during the winter I would not be outside. No one was out to play. My mother was cooking. So I stood and watched. It could be chicken soup with eggs that were still in the chicken. Making blintzes was my favorite. She would mix together flour, milk and egg and presto, a blintz. I would get the broken ones. Chopped liver was not a favorite. It had a strong taste. Schmaltz, chicken fat, would be added. Then the secret onion recipe. Onion chopped and slowly cooked till they were dark and brown. Crispy, crunchy, sweet. Grieven is onions cooked long, brown. When you're a Jew you have been used, abused, cooked, thin, or huge to forget the abuse.  Every Friday night was the big dinner. It was chicken soup, roast beef  and well done vegetables. There wasn't much gab. My family was a refugee family. Mom had come over from somewhere European. She never told me. My brother had more info. He thinks Poland. My sister was distant. The worst smell was cooked fishes, gefilter. If you ate it with horseradish it was bearable.

A panacea can be insidious, it can be love. Being included in the family with nickel and dime love is abusive. The family, by not allowing feelings to be expressed is depression. Love as control is the foundation of the Emotional Plague character. Control blocks many aspects of living particularly that emotions are being controlled. If control is all you get your release will be addiction. Being fearful to express anger, sadness, fear at not being heard leads to a loss of what it is to be a human animal. As an adult a failure to express yourself leads to dissatisfaction. The lack of Orgone movement and its Orgasm reflex will be buried in addictive confusion. On one's journey to self enlightenment the movement of Orgone often becomes confused with memories of childhood denial of expression.The families memories and buried feelings needs to be dredged up and fear, anger, sadness expressed. In my case I sat down with my mother and told her how I felt and what I experienced. Though she denied everything and wrote me out of her will, I felt I had found my integrity.

The need for loves singular connection arises spontaneously. The hard work has been done and Orgone knows being alive seeks shared flow into another; with all the breath, the smells, the glory of completion. Though love never happened with my family, love symbiosis is built directly into Orgone; the fusion is ultimate wisdom.

 

Leonard Cohen knows love is written into our being. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM7vULqs31Q

Anthem

 I walked many streets.

Saw without seeing 

Particularly trees.

Lost in S.F..

What was it that hid so successfully?

The trunk was thick 

Held the wild branches.

Soon the leaves would

Be like thoughts. 

The roots stretching

To hold others.

.He entered my life

And graciously tore

Me apart. .

Pulsing fiercely

Children reminding me how to be.

By the school 

Letting loose. 

I hear them say

This is the way it should be.

The ocean can roll you.

The sea can take you.

But stars shine bright within

When I was willing to be vulnerable.

What was taken was seen.

What rose with all the expression

When male and female became one.

Nothing I Can Do About It

 47

Was the year my wife was born.

Now dead.

These past weeks everywhere

47 appears.

Innumerable times.

Coincidence?

Its not happenstance,

Nor serendipity,

Definitely not synchronicity.

Today leaving a parking lot

The license plate was

Hi 47.

Reworking The Body

The closer the future victim is to the Kingdom of God with his knowledge, the surer will he be chosen to be murdered by the pestilent character. All this goes on with no single soul, not even the murderer himself, being aware of what is happening. From The Murder of Christ Dr. Wilhelm Reich.

Finally loosening the armor by being out of control the murderer feels correct. He goes on not knowing what he truly is doing. Secondary emotions arise from a contracted abused body. a perverted release. Having a confused reality is directly proportionate to your contracted body. In early life I, you, had plenty of Orgone. No problem existing with my own emotional plague, armor. Now as I am older my Orgone has diminished and unlocking bad posture is hard. Muscles have settled in. Stress has increased. It is important to get to posture as early as possible. It means understanding why I bent different muscles into difficult alignments 

Releasing the contractions releases Orgone. Orgone is the the intricate connections keeping everything else working. Consciousness is held down by contraction. Only part of my moving forward was moving forward. A huge unknown had split off and was holding down my speaking up. When i did speak up I would get abused. When Orgone is full and they abuse you it sets up a pattern of speaking up gets abused. Orgone rushing up after years of holding is scary. Being numb to my dysfunctional family kept me unconscious, ignorant. Over time the holding and numbness molded my posture. Being held in by poor posture leads to low Orgone, and a body that feels solid as a piece of wood. The whole body needs to contract and relax as you move. All of this was unknown to me. I had lots of Orgone when I was young. It comes with being a child. But as you age the Orgone begins to diminish.

Sometimes I am crippled by years of neglect. Did my father beat me? Hell yes. Did my brother sneak punch me in my face. Yes. My mother withheld touch, closeness, and inflected inappropriate  revenge on the whole family. She released her anger, her screaming, by ignoring me or not allowing me to have a connection that retarded my consciousness. She amazed me by stealing my money. I was in  in shock. But that notorious split occurred. My unconscious took over and bent my body. Stilling the Orgone caused me to disassociate which was preferable to being conscious of my abusive family. No longer reacting felt safe but denied me my Orgone's purpose: being one with the opposite sex.

Becoming aware that posture is not stiff, not mechanical, makes walking, a moving balance, enjoyable. Breathing is awareness that your in your body. On the inhale your contracting the diaphragm muscle and taking in Orgone, oxygen. On the exhale your relaxing the diaphragm and Orgone is flowing, Each breath moves the Orgone. It's subtle Orgone yet overwhelming. The movement of Orgone reminds you were once were flowing Orgone. Deep thorough breathing increases connection with others. Activated breathing, deep and lively, increases intensity of emotions but truly that's what emotions feel like. Before with a contracted body emotions were being dulled. Now keep going and become accustomed to your exciting life.

 John Lennon took a rocket ship to his truth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMewtlmkV6c

When plasmatic motility happens than one's childhood  flourishes right into present day. Continual Orgone flow means knowing contact, connection within and without is one's true destiny. Even with a twisted body love is a wonder.

Now

Why is being present difficult? When your in the now you don't knock glasses off the table and food doesn't doesn't drip on your shirt. After hundreds of mistakes, over countless years I paid attention. I wanted to feel my Orgone streaming. I wasn't in the now. 

I realized I was moving hands, my feet without first looking. I was somewhere else. I liked not being present. Its a defense I used growing up. I couldn't change their neglect. Left to my own devices was limited. Neglected left me contracted. TV was my view. Consciousness didn't develop. I wound up for many reasons with an over developed mental chatter that as an adult occupied me, especially when stressed. My solution was tied to paying attention with my eyes. Letting my breathing movements wake my body. The eyes see where I'm  going and I move. Being in my body is being lit up, bright, warm blooded, soft, breathing and Orgone streaming  The breath is Orgone notifying consciousness that being alive is pleasurable, and exciting

Moving, after I looked took me out of a unconscious dream and was a welcomed surprise. The now reminds that being in auto pilot means that you're not experiencing full consciousness. It's a defense mechanism to avoid a forgotten abusive past. The now is a lucidity, full of color, 

Successful Failure

In the western culture, attention, survival, is dependent on success. Being successful can lead to an arrogant pleasure. Success, at an early age, leads to some Orgone filling and a self righteous attitude that confirms that nothing is wrong. Social species find security and pleasure in attention and success.    Attention moves Orgone and the possibility of deeper pleasure. I am successful and I make the rules, reassuring the Emotional Plague. People who are addicted to success, never focus on their behavior and have no idea about armor, addiction. Their successful and that reassures their attitude, their character.

 Addictive choices become a substitute for exploring help. Women are beautiful and are instinctive and find the attention addictive; men are in comparison homely and doers and use their competitive drive to attract women, all leading to substitute addictions, each other. Men need to be out seeking sovereignty; it is hard to come by in our economy. Women are attracted to success as it guarantees security, home, a place for children. After experimental sex both sexes realize their sexual dysfunction and focus on success which hide deep seated disturbances. Sex is a primary drive and can not be a substituted by babies, money or celibacy. 

Adults largeness can frighten spontaneous connections with the baby. Adults stillness is experienced as threatening. The baby's Orgone becomes isolated, and physically, emotionally abused. As an adult not able to experience or know pleasure, the choice is successful work. As a result addictions becomes a way to escape that needs to be continually repeated. Work becomes ones success and refuge. Ultimately the relationship reminds you that success without satisfaction is failure.

Blue Light

Sunny day in my small kitchen,.While reaching the fridge I can almost touch the stove behind me.I turn to go and pop, a loud pop. I turn and see a blue light disappearing. I think its a light bulb or an electrical something and I look thoroughly but nothing. After a while I forget it. 

I am working in a shop selling American flags and a guy says 

he is an ex soldier. I am compelled to tell him blue pop story. Turns out he was a nurse during the Nam war. He relates that a blue light sometimes appeared when a death occurred. The conversation was earie. Never having met him yet we shared a troubling unknown.

Days later it I remembered  my sister had died during the time of the blue pop. Now I connected the two. 

 

I am now connecting that blue with Dr. Reich's descriptions of Orgone as blue. The Earth is the blue planet. Giving off blue Orgone at death makes sense. Remembering the blue pop gives me the chills.

 It was proven by Dr. Reich by autoclave that life is ever present and can be changed but not eliminated. The many wars with hundred thousands dying increases Orgone into the atmosphere. Orgone increase is a serious change and has a correlation with with upsurge with humans and earth acting stranger. Hopefully the major electrical outage in Europe and other unusual weather phenomena will be taken as a warning but the Emotional Plague can confuse anything.. As Dr. Reich said all is connected.