The Innocent

First off you've got to experience your situation and not like it. Second don't do
anything silly or drastic. Change takes time and it comes in small increments.
Patience. If ones surroundings does not confirm the trust and does not validate that one is supported as a vulnerable baby than the baby will close down automatically. When whoever disturbed or abused the innocence, than the initial deadening of the mind begins, with the dulling of the eyes, and the freezing of the breath: the feelings are blocked. Should have been a common experience of pulsating life becomes a dreaded forgotten memory.

Now the witness who is you, is trying to monitor your forgotten violent reactions to this forgotten abuse. Feel weird don't know why? Do you get panicky and need, choose your favorite addictions, and escape from the blocked past feelings.

The adult is continually trying to remember and yet is bound up in trying to control the outrage. That is the feeling of being in a pressure cooker. Need release because no one taught you how to find satisfaction than turn to your favorite addictions. The adult appears as the complaining child soon to find their special addiction. Innocence condemned has a violent response. Innocence crippled is violence, rage, and abuse at the back door. Addictive substances can be food, drugs, sex, work(power), gambling anything that moves energy and allows you to feel a little alive. Sorry not satisfied. That is the rub.

Addictions remind one that you are alive. What a double edge sword. No wonder addictions are hard to break. Who wants to be an adult and feel nothing. To not know even what a feeling is.
Feelings are actual movements of energy in the body. No one even had a inkling of that
idea till Dr. Reich. Dr. Reich found ways of of teaching people how to feel feelings,
and so much more.

Orgone Therapy taught me to be a human being. Nothing that my family knew.
Got cigarettes got food go to school. Any body ask you how your feeling are?  Orgone Therapy inch by inch teaches  how a human being expresses themselves.
Lost in denial human beings fear to know how little they know. So isn't it understandable that everyone turns to some form of addiction to stimulate a reminder that life is enjoyable IE the energy of the organism moves to the surface and you feel feel not
only hope but right. Life is good when you feel. That is called moving forward by the great dog psychologist Cesar Milan.

Addictions will remain no matter
how many self help books you read or how many therapists you tell your problems, or how many groups you join. Addictions serve a purpose: addictions block the experience of dysfunction and at the same time provide escape and pleasure from
your dilemma of why am I weird, unhappy, dissatisfied.

Once you feel the energy moving in you than one needs to recognize that the person witnessing that movement is blocking usually out of fear, the complete merging with that feeling. There is
no witness when feeling is 100%.  Trust
is totally letting go. In a world of disappointment that is no mean feat.

Drug Dependecy

Which is it? The worst addiction is? Tune in next week for the
answer. Oh OK the worst addiction is the one
you are suffering from. Mine in general is food.
Everyday I have to eat and I am tempted to escape myself by overeating. Thank God
for my pants cause it is a constant reminder. My pathway to
bliss is only temporary with food. Every addiction is an escape generally from
realizing that you do not know how to function.


OK Drugs. I wound up in the sixties coming from a family whose greatest
contribution to me was neglect. A weed can be strong for awhile. Found myself
in San Francisco in the late 60's. Yeah guess what I did? Thank God it wasn't better than food. That is a bad joke. Anyway what does all addictions have in common?
Yes they are bad for your health. But no that is not the
answer I am looking for. Addictions are substances that reside outside of yourself and give you the illusion that you can control your feelings.
Want peace of mind and escape; take a downer. Want energy take speed. How
about taking a prescription. Same story. Ignorance and lack
of who we are as human beings leads us to drugs and other easy escapes.
Not so easy in the long run or short run for some. What we are taught by our
parents is limited; Homo normalis knows nothing about moving from moment to moment by
our feelings. The result is off to school to get an occupation: success the false hope. No clues to finding satisfaction we turn to
what is available. One easy choice is drugs.


Human Beings move their energy by breathing.
But not restricted, shallow breathing.
Drugs skip over the self reliant, self motivated instinctive feeling
of being alive. Drugs allow one to feel alive and hopeful
until they wear off. Now worse off because you have experienced some relief.

Hey want that feeling of being alive, happy again, seems easy. Except those drugged feelings over time wear off because real happiness does not come from a source outside of yourself.
Drugs. Man they are habit forming. Do not underestimate how difficult habits are to become aware of and to change. All of us have to make a strong effort to practice
good habits that allow us to overcome our addictions.

Why Is Posture So Important?

In every martial arts the emphasis on posture and alignment is supreme.
Simply when the body is in alignment, ears over shoulders, shoulders over hips,
knees bent, then energy and alertness is in balance, and breathing is at ease and deep.
Having struggled with my posture forever, my right shoulder higher matching my right
hip and pushing my head forward and adding lots of pressure on my knees to balance
myself from falling forward.

Now when you are abused, neglected, overlooked, left out ones energy becomes restricted and it is reflected in one's posture. As a result  the challenge is becoming aware of postures insidious restrictions. Have a massage therapist or a friend describe your alignment. Take a look in the mirror and see how you stand. Become
self conscious of your breathing. The challenge is  working diligently with an Orgone Therapist.  The process can be long because the trauma is rooted in birth and childhood.

Decisions to avoid emotional rejection become physical reality in your body as
posture solidified as hard muscles or as Dr. Reich called it armor.

 
Though the journey to pulsating life is difficult the alternative is dangerous and
life damaging. Addictions are an escape from being balanced in your body. Addictions
are an escape from yourself. Knowing your journey is mapped in your alignment,
your posture, gives us a reference point to chart our goals. The goal
is to have pulsating energy. Addictions block the flow and balanced posture
allows breathing and energy to flow.

Waking Up

Words are easy to forget. The conscious experiencing of the energy is the here and now. I am writing to remember.
I left off writing and I forget exactly why. The words would nail down the moment
but then I would forget anyway. I remember words one way
or another when the words are tied to energy. No easy feat coming from one very abused neglected childhood. My personal history might be interesting over a beer. I have been taking lots of notes and catching up on my reading. I have been working and etc. So God knows when I'll
write again. Maybe never. 

So first off besides getting yourself into therapy and that is first
off the most important factor, check out Character Analysis Third Edition, and my favorite
post therapy handbook,  Emotional First Aid by Sean Haldane. Bravo Mr. Haldane one
awesome book.

OK where were we with energy movement and addiction. Bottom line addictions are a substitute
for the satisfying movement of energy in the body and its release. Addictions give a small release.
Then disappointment, or just confusion if you are panicky. Next step
for the addictive is more addictive behavior. Ugh!

OK what to do. Initially get some therapy check out Orgone.org. web page for a therapist.
Now if you cannot get a therapist try substituting a good addiction for your harmful one.
Like exercise, writing, or group meetings will raise the energy. If the energy raises that is a healthy way to substitute health for addiction.


But basically this is a blog for people who are in therapy or have been in therapy.
Because as Dr. Reich said "seeking to do your own therapy is like trying to pull yourself out of
quicksand by your own hair".

Satisfaction. What is satisfaction? What is happiness? How do these feelings relate
to addiction? The first addiction I will try to illuminate is overeating.
Being that we all have experience with food and that we have to eat everyday.
Eating is a great substitute for love; that is not getting any or enough love.
Since survival depends on eating, overeating can be very difficult to
understand and self regulate. How does addictive eating substitute for love?


Here is the simple way overeating works.
Particularly sweets, and salt will actually move the physical energy in the body.
This temporary feeling needs to be repeated continuously to achieve a substituted
feeling of satisfaction. Compared to full orgasm addictive eating is like a small stream never reaching the ocean of joy. Rely on overeating to achieve pleasure an you will form a habit, and then an addiction.
You can't leave the table to you finish everything. Eat one for Mommy. On and On
parents, well meaning begin addictions.

Love by touch or familiarity especially in childhood is survival communication that moves the individuals energy out to the circumference of the body providing pleasure and confidence. Depending on how abusive your childhood was you will seek addictions to substitute for the movement of energy.

Orgasm is the result of energy build up and the release of that buildup
is joy or happiness. The energy is experienced physically as waves
of energy. Most of us never feel the energy, we have armored up to block abuse, and
have no orgasmic reference point, no feelings to know how to find true satisfaction.

The lack of satisfaction produces a misdirected anger, and tremendous denial. Redirected anger
is directed towards inappropriate behavior; anything from meanness to violence or or self abusive addiction. Your type of energy release will be directed by the type
of childhood you experienced.
Words can only be a map of encouragement and direction.
Embrace your feelings and begin slowly to find healthy addictions.