Afterwood Lost and Found

Did you get the love you needed as a baby, as a child, as a adult? If you did you will quickly leave this blog. In fact most people who accidentally trip over my writings will leave. Not because they received true emotional contact they had to have, but because they are in denial and projecting their armor, their defensive character, and have no idea what I am writing about. We have learned to accept ourselves as contactless but when stress is overwhelming it can ignite a failure of functioning,  Then if you haven't found an Orgone Therapist I hope my blog can help.

Your mother did not know how to emote and involuntarily has frozen her muscles and squeezed one's birth into a survival nightmare. You want to flow, to expand but having affect, having expressive feelings is alien to Western Culture, and one's birth has begun the trajectory of lack of physical closeness that will permeate one's existence. Everyone has forgotten their early trauma because survival demands activity and movement feels good.Then we find something that releases part of that tension, often we don't care if it is an addictive substance: could be food, family, sweets, coffee, wine, sex. What we have is no real understanding of addiction. As an adult its not the actual addictive substance you seek but the expressive anger at past forgotten abuses that couldn't be named and were not expressed. The addiction perverts the abuse by limiting understanding, and blends subconscious anger with the addiction. 

What is it that still causes the furor about Dr. Reich and Orgone Therapy? Adults have come to a denial of their armor and their character. Dr. Reich caused a earthquake in their perception of themselves. The fantasy that Dr. Reich revealed was that men and women were sick, armored, sexually perverted by not breathing fully, and subconsciously armoring their body by contracting muscle armor which blocked feeling abused, resulting in confusing thoughts and perverted  sexuality. Feeling exposed  threatened their emotional control. Getting rid of Dr. Reich denied their emotional sickness. Dr. Reich persecuted, harassed, and ultimately wrongly incarcerated, and died in prison. Et Tu emotional plague..

Addiction became a pressure valve that released the build up of unresolved sexual Orgone. Addiction relieved some of the Orgone and the addiction became important and central to their life. Rational thinking does not happen because the body is armored and thought is sublimated by addiction. When your don't express a primary drive, orgasmic sexual  reflex, then rational thinking is perverted.Your not alone at being angry at being abused, addicted.

Without Dr. Wilhelm Reich's heroic life and the Orgone Therapy he developed, and  practiced by the master Therapist Dr. John Rinn, I would have missed being transformed. Every day I use The Therapy to help express my emotions, to not be inappropriate. Being appropriate, is being in contact with one's body and interacting with Orgone streaming and breathing consciously.  In letting go of armor orgasm release becomes awareness of one's place in the universe. 

Dr. Reich was the Technology Director for Sigmund Freud's Psychoanalytical Seminars and after leaving taught others his discoveries which were buried in human bodies, subconscious, and unconscious. Freud ultimately felt sexuality needed to conform to culture while Reich uncovered cosmic Orgone sexuality and its saving, healthy applications; not only for the individual but for future cultural generations. Dr. Reich evolved Dr. Freud's early libido theory and  discovered that fully expressed Orgasmic sexuality relieved neurosis. I am here because of Dr.Wilhelm Reich and Dr. Sigmund Freud. Their relationship and how it changed is the pivotal point of understanding what happened to human beings and the future of human consciousness.

Orgone and Addiction

 

Addiction

 Addiction is the center of my writings based on Dr. Wilhelm Reich's Work. A desperate need to change must be accessed to resolve addiction. As important, the chosen therapy must produce immediate results. The patient must leave the session feeling saved, understood, relieved and hopeful that an answer has been found. Thankfully that is how Orgone Therapy worked for me.

Enclosed are some clips from my writings.

Mrs. Wilson, my fifth grade teacher, was a nasty, cane toting  teacher. We were controlled but our silent acknowledgement led to being covert, and unified. We would pool our money and sneak out to buy candy that we would share. That sugar rush that added to my food addiction. Candy, foods are an important distraction: boredom, controlled deadness could be perverted. A saving evil.

I looked at the white covering. It was  so sweet and the bread soft. I liked the attention. I liked the sweetness, it spread through me;  I was different, better. Later I knew why I would eat to feel different, special, an addict.

The baby has taken some control of his life at a tremendous cost. Control feels like you can survive and often during your life control is the difference between life and death. Control is a necessary skill that all of us need to wear like a coat . A coat that is up to us to put on or take off. The problem with control is when control starts at an early age and gets reinforced by further trauma than control becomes chronic and becomes a character formation. Control that is chronic stimulates a need for addictive release because it is not removable by the individual except by an outside addictive lifestyle. 

Life is movement. Like an amoeba, human beings' energy can be pulsing. Addiction is the substitution of a shallow pulse for life's satisfying primary pulse.
Children are born with the primary pulse and it is a natural unconscious reflex. As natural as a bird flying. From day one children feel the threat of cessation, of their pulse, as an immediate threat to their survival. Closing down by contracting the muscles allows a feeling of calmness to occur. The price for peacefully fitting in is the loss of flowing Orgone (energetic purpose). Addiction becomes a way of finding some small level of  excitement.  

Dr. Reich used the gag reflex. Put your finger softly in your throat to illicit the gag reflex. Don't push it down, tickle your throat. The gag reflex will unlock your compressed lungs. Your holding them flat by not breathing fully causing armor. You'll feel the release,and orgone moving to the surface of your body. Ultimately this will show you how Orgone moves. It is the most important information on Orgone movement when you have no idea what Orgone feels like. Its knowledge that you've repressing Orgone. Now you'll know that there is an unconscious, a forgotten memory. Until you express the contraction it stays contracted and forgotten. Becoming aware one is confusing addictions excitement with opening a compressed body allows natural, conscious Orgone excitement, The need for unhealthy choices lessens.

Work seems to be the addiction of our culture. Work is a slippery slope. Survival built into work can easily be justified by long hours, and excuses that seem reasonable. I have no time for reading; I have heard often enough or I am fine. Actually I have said versions of these myself. I worked 60 hours a week and had little time for  introspection and less time for meaningful connection. A deep rooted fear of losing control of my status and not receiving the attention I needed for survival had driven me to overwork. The culture of the West added to this crowning effect by giving work success all the rewards of a hero returning from battle

Accessing my Orgone, my core allowed me to understand my character; the ways I hold myself, the way I handle emotions, my tension. Being neglected, left out, ignored in the past will lead to addiction. Not achieving acknowledgement from the family, fairness from the culture, leads to seeking pleasure from addictions. Hidden family abusive memories have been forgotten and addictions keep them buried. Mapped in your Orgone flow, your posture your restricted breath, gives us a reference point to chart our goals. 

Dr. Reich Video

I have been to Wilhelm Reich's museum three times and a three day seminar. I have been on its Facebook page for years. Since Mary Boyd Higgins  died, she was Dr. Reich's editor and in charge of the Museum, new direction has taken place. I am not privy to its changes but its tone is authoritarian. Nerveless their continual exploring of  Dr. Reich's discoveries is encouraging. 

Of late the Museum wished everyone  Love, Work, Knowledge for the New Years. Having written  extensively on Love, Work and Knowledge,  I asked if I could post on their site.Their response was shocking. Without notifying me they wiped out my request. No explanation. By doing this suggests a cult like projection. I am disappointed, sadden that The Museum has stopped respecting new information, which  I feel would be inline with Dr.'s Reichs paradigm.

In reviewing the ending of Dr. Reich's video his awareness of his Orgone Energy consciousness separates himself from  the lack of consciousness of his associates. Perhaps the Museum needs to take notice.

As such I discontinued my membership.

.  

Captures my experience of Dr. Reich.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKiK5afXYgg

Are You Healthy?

Dr. Reich asked Myron Sharaf at their first meeting.

This question has huge meaning. 

Dr. Reich was immediately evaluating Myron Sharaf's health by verbal and Orgone projection. Having healthy, dedicated colleagues was needed to balance the work. The knowledge that was needed would encompass all aspects of love for your fellow humans. When the Orgone has no restrictions than spontaneity feels honest, wholesome, and integral. Hence are you healthy? 

Dr. Reich was a humanitarian. By the very nature of his work, his empathy for human sickness was paramount. Our  world is filled with the Emotional Plague. The danger of human misery and their poor choices was Dr. Reich's healing pursuit. 

Grieven

 My mother didn't have much to do with me. I was the third child and my mother only had energy for two. My dad was at work, and was left on my own. My mother cooked for my father. She was old schooled that way. She would perform all her wifely duties, as long as he was  providing. 

 I was the helper when Mom went shopping, Sawdust on the floor that was the butcher shop. Chicken's in the back in cages and the blue flames. An odd smell. Later I realized it was the burnt feathers. Blue flames were always on. No words between me and my Mom. I was there to help. She could have been anyone. I was bored except for the blue dreams.. Though I miss  my family umbrella's safety, when I look at my Grandparents picture I am awakened to fear. My mother looked like my grandmother, a big round tank, and my Grandfather, thin, tight and held in. I can see the horrendous struggle they endured. I am thankful they survived. I never wanted to be them. and knew I was broken by the pain that held them from sharing love. 

Usually during the winter I would not be outside. No one was out to play. My mother was cooking. So I stood and watched. It could be chicken soup with eggs that were still in the chicken. Making blintzes was my favorite. She would mix together flour, milk and egg and presto, a blintz. I would get the broken ones. Chopped liver was not a favorite. It had a strong taste. Schmaltz, chicken fat, would be added. Then the secret onion recipe. Onion chopped and slowly cooked till they were dark and brown. Crispy, crunchy, sweet. Grieven is onions cooked long, brown. When you're a Jew you have been used, abused, cooked, thin, or huge to forget the abuse.  Every Friday night was the big dinner. It was chicken soup, roast beef  and well done vegetables. There wasn't much gab. My family was a refugee family. Mom had come over from somewhere European. She never told me. My brother had more info. He thinks Poland. My sister was distant. The worst smell was cooked fishes, gefilter. If you ate it with horseradish it was bearable.

A panacea can be insidious, it can be love. Being included in the family with nickel and dime love is abusive. The family, by not allowing feelings to be expressed is depression. Love as control is the foundation of the Emotional Plague character. Control blocks many aspects of living particularly emotions If control is all you get your release will be addiction. Being fearful to express anger, sadness, fear at not being heard leads to a loss of what it is to be a human animal. As an adult a failure to express yourself leads to dissatisfaction. The lack of Orgone movement and its Orgasm reflex will be buried in addictive confusion. On one's journey to self enlightenment the movement of Orgone often becomes confused with memories of childhood denial of expression.The families memories and buried feelings needs to be dredged up and fear, anger, sadness expressed. In my case I sat down with my mother and told her how I felt and what I experienced. Though she denied everything and wrote me out of her will, I felt I had found my integrity.

The need for loves singular connection arises spontaneously. The hard work has been done and Orgone knows being alive seeks shared flow into another; with all the breath, the smells, the glory of completion. Love symbiosis is built directly into Orgone; the fusion is ultimate wisdom.

 

Leonard Cohen knows love is written into our being. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gM7vULqs31Q

Anthem

 I walked many streets.

Saw without seeing 

Particularly trees.

Lost in S.F..

What was it that hid so successfully?

The trunk was thick 

Held the wild branches.

Soon the leaves would

Be like thoughts. 

The roots stretching

To hold others.

.He entered my life

And graciously tore

Me apart. .

Pulsing fiercely

Children reminding me how to be.

By the school 

Letting loose. 

I hear them say

This is the way it should be.

The ocean can roll you.

The sea can take you.

But stars shine bright within

When I was willing to be vulnerable.

What was taken was seen.

What rose with all the expression

When male and female became one.

Nothing I Can Do About It

 47

Was the year my wife was born.

Now dead.

These past weeks everywhere

47 appears.

Innumerable times.

Coincidence?

Its not happenstance,

Nor serendipity,

Definitely not synchronicity.

Today leaving a parking lot

The license plate was

Hi 47.

Reworking The Body

The closer the future victim is to the Kingdom of God with his knowledge, the surer will he be chosen to be murdered by the pestilent character. All this goes on with no single soul, not even the murderer himself, being aware of what is happening. From The Murder of Christ Dr. Wilhelm Reich.

Finally loosening the armor by being out of control the murderer feels correct. He goes on not knowing what he truly is doing. Secondary emotions arise from a contracted abused body. a perverted release. Having a confused reality is directly proportionate to your contracted body. In early life I, you, had plenty of Orgone. No problem existing with my own emotional plague, armor. Now as I am older my Orgone has diminished and unlocking bad posture is hard. Muscles have settled in. Stress has increased. It is important to get to posture as early as possible. It means understanding why I bent different muscles into difficult alignments 

Releasing the contractions releases Orgone. Orgone is the the intricate connections keeping everything else working. Consciousness is held down by contraction. Only part of my moving forward was moving forward. A huge unknown had split off and was holding down my speaking up. When i did speak up I would get abused. When Orgone is full and they abuse you it sets up a pattern of speaking up gets abused. Orgone rushing up after years of holding is scary. Being numb to my dysfunctional family kept me unconscious, ignorant. Over time the holding and numbness molded my posture. Being held in by poor posture leads to low Orgone, and a body that feels solid as a piece of wood. The whole body needs to contract and relax as you move. All of this was unknown to me. I had lots of Orgone when I was young. It comes with being a child. But as you age the Orgone begins to diminish.

Sometimes I am crippled by years of neglect. Did my father beat me? Hell yes. Did my brother sneak punch me in my face. Yes. My mother withheld touch, closeness, and inflected inappropriate  revenge on the whole family. She released her anger, her screaming, by ignoring me or not allowing me to have a connection that retarded my consciousness. She amazed me by stealing my money. I was in  in shock. But that notorious split occurred. My unconscious took over and bent my body. Stilling the Orgone caused me to disassociate which was preferable to being conscious of my abusive family. No longer reacting felt safe but denied me my Orgone's purpose: being one with the opposite sex.

Becoming aware that posture is not stiff, not mechanical, makes walking, a moving balance, enjoyable. Breathing is awareness that your in your body. On the inhale your contracting the diaphragm muscle and taking in Orgone, oxygen. On the exhale your relaxing the diaphragm and Orgone is flowing, Each breath moves the Orgone. It's subtle Orgone yet overwhelming. The movement of Orgone reminds you were once were flowing Orgone. Deep thorough breathing increases connection with others. Activated breathing, deep and lively, increases intensity of emotions but truly that's what emotions feel like. Before with a contracted body emotions were being dulled. Now keep going and become accustomed to your exciting life.

 When plasmatic motility happens than one's childhood  flourishes right into present day. Continual Orgone flow means knowing contact, connection within and without is one's true destiny. Opening the body instinctively connects one to love.

Successful Failure

In the western culture, attention, survival, is dependent on success. Being successful can lead to an arrogant pleasure. Success, at an early age, leads to some Orgone filling and a self righteous attitude that confirms that nothing is wrong. Social species find security and pleasure in attention and success.    Attention moves Orgone and the possibility of deeper pleasure. I am successful and I make the rules, reassuring the Emotional Plague. People who are addicted to success, never focus on their behavior and have no idea about armor, addiction. Their successful and that reassures their attitude, their character.

 Addictive choices become a substitute for exploring help. Women are beautiful and are instinctive and find the attention addictive; men are in comparison homely and doers and use their competitive drive to attract women, all leading to substitute addictions, each other. Men need to be out seeking sovereignty; it is hard to come by in our economy. Women are attracted to success as it guarantees security, home, a place for children. After experimental sex both sexes realize their sexual dysfunction and focus on success which hide deep seated disturbances. Sex is a primary drive and can not be a substituted by babies, money or celibacy. 

Adults largeness can frighten spontaneous connections with the baby. Adults stillness is experienced as threatening. The baby's Orgone becomes isolated, and physically, emotionally abused. As an adult not able to experience or know pleasure, the choice is successful work. As a result addictions becomes a way to escape that needs to be continually repeated. Work becomes ones success and refuge. Ultimately the relationship reminds you that success without satisfaction is failure.

Blue Light

Sunny day in my small kitchen. While reaching the fridge I can almost touch the stove behind me.I turn to go and pop, a loud pop. I turn and see a blue light disappearing. I think its a light bulb or an electrical something and I look thoroughly but nothing. After a while I forget it. 

I am working in a shop selling American flags and a guy says 

he is an ex soldier. I am compelled to tell him blue pop story. Turns out he was a nurse during the Nam war. He relates that a blue light sometimes appeared when a death occurred. The conversation was earie. Never having met him yet we shared a troubling unknown.

Days later it I remembered  my sister had died during the time of the blue pop. Now I connected the two. 

 

I am now connecting that blue with Dr. Reich's descriptions of Orgone as blue. The Earth is the blue planet. Giving off blue Orgone at death makes sense. Remembering the blue pop gives me the chills.

 It was proven by Dr. Reich by autoclave that life is ever present and can be changed but not eliminated. The many wars with hundred thousands dying increases Orgone into the atmosphere. Orgone increase is a serious change and has a correlation with humans and earth acting stranger. Hopefully the major electrical outage in Europe  increase in Earthquakes and volcanoes and other unusual weather phenomena will be taken as a warning but the Emotional Plague can confuse anything.. As Dr. Reich said all is connected.

Before Your Eyes Birds and Trees

Looking for a super hero. 

Our culture derived a brutal reminder from Roman times. Conquer or die."You servants of the state. Pay up or die"  For two thousand years the Kings have been working us.Their sitting by the pool, or playing golf, feeding their addictions: ignoring their ignorance. 

Super heroes is the fantasy of our times. Super heroes is a dream that would end all this ignorance. Right now super heroes in comics have increased dramatically. Fantasy is prevalent. The hard work to change society is not even understood. All of us are still in survival mode. Perhaps if we had one super hero there would be change. Otherwise its a nickel and dime world where the geniuses are martyred.  People  have always wished to fly. In dreams we fly, it's miraculous. If you could fly like a bird you would be a super hero. What would you choose? Fly off into space in a small rocket ship probably to a barren planet. Your humanity needs so much more. Wouldn't you rather choose a birds life. Living within the majestic. 

 Take a look.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtqnTP4ucnY

Trees 

I came to Bristol, R.I. because visiting I was impressed by trees, the majestic  greenery. Being here for 13 years I have felt the rooted trees, spreading their intelligent balance, strength.Speed up time you would see trees are dancers.Their expressions are portrayed in their branches, balancing their rise to the sky. Some wait for the leaves of winter to soften their art others pirouette.

There are moments when I stand next to one of my favorite trees, wide, bumps, immeasurably tall that I begin to stand taller. Looking up I see the life force balancing the branches, the thousands of leaves swaying. Trees communicate with each other underground. Its been proven that tress share carbon through their roots with neighboring trees. Help feed tree stumps to keep them alive.

I begin to feel my toes reaching for the earth, my arms moving against the wind and I breathe in harmony. I give you carbon and returned oxygen. Trees have their roots sucking up mother earth. Orgone, reaching for the stars. Peaceful, communicators with other trees underground. If we could grow as big and strong and be as beautifully decorated we would be a super hero. 

Geese, dogs, and cats.

Animals can have super abilities.

Geese fly in formation, great distances and assign lookouts when eating. Once I saw hundreds of geese line up on the ground in a straight line. Dogs have super smell. Cats are great parents. 

Repetitive behavior is hypnotic, its components, actions can cause mistakes by thinking the activity has been done. In a rush to complete an activity the last step can be forgotten. Focus, memory will be smothered by believing success is common.  Anxiety will be the reminder that forgetting to breathe fully duh, suggests a problem. Behavior that that habitual patterns can hypnotize oneself into ignoring past abuses and addictive dangers.

Muscles become contracted to stop feeling, it's automatic and freezes emotions like a possum. Feelings is Orgone movement. Aha words, describing anger appears after the expression. Ones character is Orgone moving through contracted muscles.The emotions need to be expressed through the movement of Orgone. Aborted pleasure signify restricted understanding, restricted breathing. Orgone has intelligence. Its wordless experience.  

Without the love of mother for the child the culture of  greed blooms and self destruction unconsciously ends a betrayed consciousness. If one is genital, enlightened, than a fully released Orgone is pursued through mutual orgasm. Orgasm releases the excess Orgone into waves of understanding pleasure. Orgasm is the star of the universe. Humans have the template to be like the cosmos. Truth be told and its clear, superimposition is the template of the universe. Humans without Orgone abilities are purveyors of nonsense

My Uncle Aaron And Aunt Rose

Reminisces Passover With My Family

Passover as a child was a happy break from my usual life with my family. We would take the ride to Aunt Rose and Uncle Aaron's house. Once in awhile my Dad drove us in one of his milk trucks. Sitting on a milk case, in the back as we rattled along. The trip seemed to go on but it was about 35 minutes through Brooklyn streets. Aunt Rose's kitchen was bustling with my mother and my cousins slipping in and out. 

I am small. Everyone is busy. I remember the door and I descend the stairs into the basement. It is hard to see. There is a dusty smell. At the bottom there are large pipes and different tools. A vice in one corner. A small window in the bathroom. A container on the sink. It's open. It is gritty. LAVA SOAP.

A big barrel by the stairs as I hear the voices and the their steps. Upstairs Lenny, my two year older brother is running through with Paul our fun cousin.  Aunt Rose comes to me. She has a chicken sandwich. Its rye bread with an extra piece of fat. It is so good. I tear through living room, people everywhere  My cousin Stevie and I play outside. 

We're hushed inside for dinner. It is a  long table. All is quiet. My brother begins reading the Passover four questions. As I am the youngest in my family, I am meant to read the important questions. An early symbolic slap that over time I will recognize happens over and over.  Uncle Aaron has hidden the symbolic matzoh. The silver dollar reward is for whoever finds the matzoh. I spot the bulge in the tablecloth. I want the reward. I hear laughter as I  disrupt the table.

After dinner my brother, my partner and I tackle Uncle Aaron. He is our compatriot. Lucky for me I had Uncle Aaron. In his dark basement I would continually explore. The mystery of pipes, his tools, and his casks of fermenting pickles and wine. A particular favorite was his brandy soaked cherries. I was five and Uncle Aaron paid attention to me. 

Uncle Aaron would call us to play. Can you remove the silver dollar between his fingers? Lenny and I would try to wrench it free. We crawled over our foe. Two hands were not enough. Even with my brother holding on, no luck. He was big Uncle Aaron, a plumber. The struggle went on. Wrenching our bodies over his body, twisting everyway.  Uncle Aaron just composed and finally he would let go. 

Can you tell how much I loved my Uncle Aaron. A man who held me in his arms without saying a word.

All seems normal. Beneath the activity of family lies many secrets that are forgotten in the rush of togetherness. Afterwards we all go back to our typical patterns. I would continue to be ignored. I would find myself alone after school,  and then in my bed. Boredom would overtake me and I would force myself to go out and play. My friends filled in for my missing family. 

Puberty was fun with a few rubs with girls. There was one special girl that was overwhelming and unhappily I ran from intimacy.The secrets, isolation, misconceptions with everyone leads to wondering, addictions and if lucky Orgone Therapy. 

My mother was speaking Yiddish on the phone. I wasn't sure why. It annoyed me. I wanted to understand. I was maybe  seven. Soon the family was off to Aunt Rose and Uncle Aaron's, for Passover celebration. I would sit next to my Mother resting my head on her huge arms. I was still the baby. Later my brother told me how that annoyed him He had sat in the back seat of the car. Brooklyn streets were filled with trees and houses. The trip took about thirty minutes but seemed too long.

Aunt Rose's house was a single structure with plenty of room to play. Our cousins were already there  talking loudly. Aunt Rose's stocking's were rolled down. There was a kind seriousness in her presence. I could feel her; she was alert to my little self. I was given the run of their home. I tore through the living room, through Cousin Frankie's Ophthalmologist's office and into Brooklyn streets. I was the youngest and my mother, a difficult refugee from an old European country, got her way through a strong will, and the threat of my lurking, powerful father. My mother was a large woman. She paid little attention to me. As an adult I asked her why? "Your fathers job is to take care of you." Thankfully my father was born here and had good qualities. He would, every night, scratch my back which felt so perfect.

Passover was a big table with Uncle Aaron holding court. He was not loud, it was just his good will that reigned. At other times when my mother was in the hospital he took my brother and me to synagogue. 

My favorite uncle was Uncle Aaron. He was big. He was a plumber. He smoked, he drank and he ate big.He had a fabulous car, Old Smoky, a 1950's Dodge. My Uncle Aaron let me press the starter button.  He was religious. He took me to Schule and never had to say a word except there was a a peaceful satisfaction that I could relate to even at five maybe seven,. He let me hang with him in his basement where all the tools were, and the big pipes, and barrels of pickles and fermenting cherries that we would share. Though I never became a plumber I wished I had. My uncle died carrying a bathtub by himself up till the sixth floor. His presence and faith inhabit me.

"When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the spirit laughs at what has gained."- Sufi aphorism

Tai chi chih to Catto

 I began my practice of Tai Chi in the mid seventies; then  as a massage student in 1991 I learned Tai Chi Chih; a form that focuses on simpler movements.The early martial artists became aware of Chi (that Dr. Reich called Orgone), in their practice. As a practitioner of Tai Chi Chi I became aware that I could feel the Chi or Orgone streaming, initially through my hands. This was a similar experience to when doing massage. I have since incorporated Orgonomic breathing techniques developed by Dr. Wilhelm Reich and some movements taught by Carlos Castaneda called Tensegrity, and Qi Gong and  African foot rocking. I call  my form Catto. C for Qi Gong, A for Africa, T for Tai Chi Chih, T for Tensegrity, and O for Orgonenomic breathing.  I have found my new combinations loosening my musculature. 

Catto helps awaken our consciousness to our original template. The combination of Orgonomic breathing, spontaneous movement, and  sound directs the stream, Our birth Template was full body streaming and only abuse forces the streaming to depress thoroughly. Horrible birth procedures and abusive upbringing forces streaming to only exists in the subconscious. 

Catto moves Orgone from depressed, inward, towards the bodies surface. The effort changes bodily perception into having more presence, into artful movement. Catto reminds consciousness of the pleasure of grace, and awakens consciousness wonder. 

The following you tube is a child expressing Orgone though his body. Singular movement.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB8b45pabAk

The Nose Knows

Stop. Do not wash your dog with house chlorinated water. Dogs have super powers  Super olfactory. How far a dog smells depends on conditions such as wind and type of scent, but they have been reported to smell objects and people over 12 miles away. Dogs' olfactory systems work so well that they can be trained to pick up odors as little as a pictogram which is a trillionth of a gram.Smell, their super power is keeping dogs in perpetual Orgone (energy)  streaming; dogs pleasure is Orgone filling the surface of their body. As long as dogs smell their perfect. A leash no problem. I have my nose in the glorious earth. Smell bypasses armor and denies other experiences.

My dog, Buffalo loved swimming, and anything to do with water. Yet he hated baths and loved mud. They  itch all the time with all that unwashed hair. Love water but a chlorinated bath, hell no. I can smell the chlorine in our drinking water. Chlorine doesn't taste good and smells sour. Imagine what dogs smell or taste when trying to get them in a tub. They hate it and so would you. Rather take a mud bath than humans water. They rather roll in dirt than chlorine. So would everyone.

Dogs  love smells. Smelling bypasses restraint streaming pleasurable Orgone. Dogs are always focused on smelling. Their happiness in cars, head in open window is uncontrollable. Smell is heavenly.

Cancer is easy for a dog to smell and smells bad. Just ask any dog.

No Models

Bright  lighting, silver nitrate, sterile birth conditions, drugged mother, leads to buried anger in the unconscious; becomes an angry flag that needs to be followed. Yet that path is filled with a darkness made up of buried feelings that are bolted  down with an invisible fence worse than any dog fence. No one modeled how to emote affect. Not experiencing Orgone movement modeling  affects adult decisions, and results in a stunted life.

The first template is the birth process; contraction or deadening of the emotions proceeds to no movement in the birth cannel. Now they have to pull out baby or its an emergency.The unconscious remembers. Being pulled or stuck needs to be experienced bodily, Orgone Therapy will loosened the armor, the process will remind the consciousness of the birth. The Orgone collapse will slowly become become conscious. 

To be loved, to be validated, to have familiarity with ones Orgone, to understand, needed full body contact with a loving mother. The child's scattered focus will seek an addicted anchor. Armor developed a strong habit that felt safe. Anger, rage must be hidden. Armor which is used for control and fitting in moves the Orgome a bit. Addictions became secrets.

I asked my mother why she never came  into my bedroom to say goodnight. No kiss good night. No story ever. She said that was Dad's job. Except Dad was at work. The ramifications from her neglect were huge. The loss of connected streaming breeds a dark hole of anxiety: a twisted armature of confused reality. What was missing became an unconscious need to be filled. Poor connections will jeopardize future relationships. Neglect will be a 2 AM wakeup. When neglect occurs the babies Orgone, streamings stays flat; contact with Mother, with the world narrows and imaginary substitutes, and addictives become active. 

The past needs to be dug up, murdered. Expressing the rage at neglect puts you in touch with one's armor and aliveness that was buried. In expressing emotions the armor slowly begins to take a back seat to Orgone streaming. Having no streaming example resulted in no conscious Orgone moment. The streaming of the mother and breast feeding reassures the baby of life's pleasure. Instead the continuation of armor will butt into a addictive release, often sexual. Without loving contact one doesn't fully exist. Full bodily contact, the awakening breath, teaches how to be fully alive. 

anomaly

"Reich concluded by saying that they're no authorities in the field of orgonomy. Then to ask the authorities of the old science to confirm it was to say the least-naïve". 1

 In Orgone Therapy Orgone streaming spontaneously appeared. At times it was an anger streaming and stayed for 20 minutes. Ultimately Orgone streaming  became  enlightenment.    

Dr. Reich was from another planet. Yes when Dr. Reich says in Contact With Space, (his last book),  I might be from another planet, I say he was. Dr. Reich was thousands of years ahead of his time. In  forty years he discovered how to help humanity in so many ways. Not only through Orgone Therapy, biophysically, cancer understanding, weather modification, and U.F.O., contact and desert exploration.  No one can grasp the immensity of his genius. Instead put him in jail. That's what the retarded did. 

"Reich always wanted to leave  the door open for persons with special gifts to practice Orgone Therapy without medical training." 2

Left out. Wound up following my typical unaware life. But late puberty and some unconscious anger and I was fortunate to be in  therapy with Dr. John Rinn, who studied with Dr. Duvall who had been in Therapy with Dr. Reich. I was without a Medical degree and part of the the rebelliousness hippie Timothy Leary Generation. Like Camus the Stranger, also called the outsider, I developed a unique perspective on the Culture I was brought up in.

Tiptoeing through the emotional plague. Trees produce fruit. Humans produce, in this time perversion. It is night and no one can truly see. Tour the heart of the orgone. Letting go and let it be. The door swings on its own. You have a front row seat.

"We rely on knowledge on the deep rooted knowledge about the laws of life which are in man" 3 

    

I like Dr. Reich stand outside the culture. Oddly not having a  medical degree I found other helpful modalities. Dr. Reich's  Medical Degree led him to Psychotherapy and Orgone Therapy which is the foundation of life. I hope our culture becomes whole, less filled with the Emotional Plague, but I don't believe that will happen. The main reason is the culture has run away from Dr. Reich's genius. And I believe genius is a slight estimation of what Dr. Reich accomplished. 

"Reich had argued strongly that the chief requirement should be a medical degree or its equivalent; in the end his opinion prevailed."4. Its all there is his therapy, in our bodies, our consciousness, and his books, not just in degrees. Not in the addicted authorities rules. Not in the the mama boys hiding in plain sight. Not in our libraries. Nothing in Bristol's  huge non fiction library, except Sharaf's book Fury on Earth.The established Orgonomists are blind to my blog, and to others who are leading the way, bringing new insights into their official realm.

 Having been taught what it is to be a human being, I am lucky to understand how the Therapy works and the awareness the Therapy uncovers. 

1. Fury On Earth Sharaf Pg. 353

2. Fury On Earth Sharaf page 348

3. Fury on Earth Pg. 348

4. ibid+

Disturbing The Peace

Orgone saved my life. Dr. Wilhelm Reich through his many discoveries reached out through time and taught me how to emote, how to to relax, how to understand, how to release Orgone, and have pleasures in a Emotional Plague reality. Otherwise the build up Orgone within me would have caused a deathly panic.

Early Orgone hid to save my life, from fear of the many abuses I wrote about. A new me appeared: quiet, careful, hiding, and I focused on little clouds: addiction, food, sports, smells. Then off on my own and those addictions were not enough. Anxiety jumped and I remembered; I used to wake in the middle of the night worried. Closet door opens and humming heads would fly out. I was a wreck. Where was I. I had no idea. Turned out I was ignorant.

Armored is addicted. The Orgone, past and present emotions, must be released fully or armor insures an addicted release ( from food to war),and secondary emotions that are ugly, a nasty character. The emotional plague ruins their life by missing being truly alive while seeking minor addicted pleasures that never satisfy.The plague's character insides are Orgone knots, constricted and unable to unwind; if touched it's a spasm nightmare. Without Orgone Therapy knowledge the character cannot truly unlock. The horror is the plague is invisible to the host, and in their desperation to release their unconscious blocked, armor they pervert reality. Those who know recognize their ignorance and see their anger as their compulsion to be right and ignore their unconscious. Affect disturbs people who have buried theirs. Emotional Plague people are volatile; they are unconsciously miserable and will take every opportunity to unleash their misery on you. Beware and stay away.

Addiction is Orgone that gets released as a substitute for expressing primal emotions. The fantasy of addiction is that it replaces the memory and emotion of rejection. One is not oblivious that it is a substitute, or that it even an addiction. Built into our culture many addictions are visible and deemed necessary; cigarettes, alcohol sugar not only legal but considered financially essential for those established industries. Addictions are par and parcel that stop you from seeing, feeling the horror of one's reality. One has to learn how to express emotions to have a chance at feeling the moving Orgone and total pleasure through convulsive sexual orgasm.

Everyone is unaware that they are working extremely hard to regulate their Orgone. When your honest about their relationships watch out for their anger. They will fight like hell to stay the same. No expressive feelings insures control. I cannot convince anyone with words. No one can. I am writing  for those who are already want this info. If words could change the ignorant then the emotional plague would no longer exist.

Do not disturb sign should placed around the neck of the emotionless. Confronting the Emotional Plague with affect should only be undertaken with protection. Their placidity is held down by a murderous unconsciousness that is held in place by a unconscious ruthless panic that they will experience themselves. The hidden past abuse froze the Orgone. No one understood how as an infant to express ones revenge. Now the repressed will fight like hell not to uncover the secrets of the past as they have no idea how to express the abuse and miss Orgone healing. 

"The enervating struggle against the emotional plague continues without interruption." Wilhelm Reich American Odyssey pg. 314

Let Me Out

the fly was circling madly
i knew he entered with me

I hear his buzxing cry for help.

light shock,
then no touch
waiting with only eyes,
what is the nothing

the window 

open

back and forth

whoosh and out

 ah and ah

a shout

a catastrophic

chaos un

locking

years

the letting go

both sides

identifying

Orgone

bitter sweet

weird to be

John Lennon was in Primal Therapy. It is a Therapy that access's fight or flight, which gets you into Orgone, emotions that were buried. A Primal Therapist is then available.  

It is achieved  through initial twenty four hour isolation. Lennon's childhood was dysfunctional, absentee father and mother. Integrating  his complex emotions was no quick fix. Art can soothe while tolerating the confusion.

                                                   I Found Out by John Lennon

I told you before, stay away from my door
Don't give me that brother, brother, brother, brother
The freaks on the phone, won't leave me alone
So don't give me that brother, brother, brother, brother No!
I, I found out!
I, I found out!

Now that I showed you what I been through
Don't take nobody's word what you can do
There ain't no Jesus gonna come from the sky
Now that I found out I know I can cry

I, I found out!
I, I found out!

Some of you sitting there with your cock in your hand
Don't get you nowhere don't make you a man
I heard something 'bout my Ma and my Pa
They didn't want me so they made me a star

I, I found out!
I, I found out!

Old Hare Krishna got nothing on you
Just keep you crazy with nothing to do
Keep you occupied with pie in the sky
There ain't no guru who can see through your eyes

I, I found out!
I, I found out!

I seen through junkies, I been through it all
I seen religion from Jesus to Paul
Don't let them fool you with dope and cocaine
No one can harm you, feel your own pain

I, I found out!
I, I found this out!
I, I found out!

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Writer(s): John Lennon

Symptoms, habits are hard to change

Hunter gathers needed no permanent family. It was move on and work together to survive the hostile unforgiving terrain. Nature  insured cooperation. Growing crops and domesticating animals transitioned humans into a new stabilized family. Now cooperation needed communication between the sexes to insure success. All transitions are difficult. The movement to new ideas and actions involved the possibility of mistakes causing a reminder of past abuse. 

The many pitfalls of this new family was solved by patriarchy. But trouble existed with males being too controlling and women having to acquiesce. Success depended on a lack of family conflict. Marriages often had difficulty as humans sexual needs change. The isolated nuclear family structure unlike hunter gathers had a new set of  rules. Neighboring families needed to work together to enhance survival. Ignorance made peace difficult.  For true knowledge, right understanding of a the micro and macro world needed the family to learn from the American Indian circular community.

Ignoring knowledge is a father daughter entertaining duo. The singing promoted by the family provides income and it's socially applauded. Freud's and Reich's insights, particularly the Oedipus complex is unconscious. These many children will miss satisfaction. Instead they will always be yearning for a completion that will not happen. Parents exploit their children's innocence. The family's dynamic demands denial for the abuse that the children are experiencing. Of course the culture of ruthlessness often leaves much worse possibilities.

Top down business practices insures selfishness. Buried rage is used by business to express their anger, their dissatisfaction, and their dysfunction drives greed. Top down authority take the immense profit and only succeeds for those at the top. I am convinced you can talk with acerbity  about dysfunctions and  not a thing would change. What we need to change is people's character through Orgone Therapy and enlightened parenting 

Practicing what I learned in Therapy has helped me not react to a world of secondary emotions but it is not easy as habits are ingrained. Being aware of how difficult accessing  my reduced breathing and  Orgone streaming has allowed me to have empathy for all humans. Typically that works but when it doesn't I try to have empathy for myself.

Movement

When I became aware of my Orgone streaming I  recognized how much Orgone moved to my bodies surface, and how much pleasure I missed by my absent, neglectful mother. Anger is frustrated pleasure. Anger streams powerfully, to the surface of the body; while pleasure would have continued filling fully, softly to the surface.  Orgone was an ever going discovery. The amount of Orgone varied continuously and I had to experience streaming, through Orgone Therapy, to experience its movement. 

Laying there, I am conscious. I am in a room. No one is there. I continue to lay there. Now I want what was missing. It's a fruitless search. I am off. I am lost, off.  I am dizzy, conscious No one gives a moment about me. I am fading and disappearing. My breath, my lungs hardly move. 

As with all my posts it started with Orgone Therapy: with Dr. Rinn's teaching me breathing, with sound on the exhale. The sound alerts you to feeling the hiding and the ah sound accompanies  streaming through the body. If I wasn't conscious of  my breath it meant that I wasn't in my body. I was shallow breathing, armored, and addicted. 

Blocked meant your vision of your surroundings didn't compute and decisions were corrupted by secondary emotions. The journey to self regulation begins with an awareness that one needs help. Pleasure is Orgone Streaming that spontaneously occurs when full respiration is not inhibited, and emotions are freely expressed.

When abused either verbally or physically the body protects itself by pulling in and collapsing, particularly in the vulnerable midsection. Breathing almost stops and tension stops the feeling of abuse. If your small, or unable to fight back, than the hate and anger needs to be released as an adult. The anger is moving out and it's frustration leaves a major reminder later in life that when speaking up with affect you will be abused. Dr. Reich explains that having an armored midsection is tantamount to making bad decisions: unconscious of the crap your getting yourself involved in.1.

Now I had complete breathing. The first couple days I was pleased. Then one morning I had an explosion of vomit. Complete breathing had brought up old hate. No one cared. I could feel a blocked awareness I had never experienced. I attributed this newness to breathing. To inhale was charging and pelvic slight loosening; the exhale with Orgone movement was releasing. It came together. I was damned angry. Breathing deeply opened repressed memories that escaped like bandits. It is a continual process which often includes tremors and clonism. Letting it all happen is challenging.

In the midsection is the liver. Chinese medical theory purports the liver is the seat of anger. Interesting connection. Unconsciously that is also where Orgone gets thoroughly blocked. Vomiting voluntarily helps stimulate, and unlock Orgone in the liver:  Orgone streaming expressed by the liver is healing.. 2.

Lately I've noticed that my additional breathing style involved a stimulation of my mid section. Deep breathing always involved the midsection but now I was conscious of the pelvic and sacrum being involved. Allowing the expression to just happen is like being a different person; trusting my organism to react with orgone and not preordained. I could now focus on pursuing my primary need: love spontaneously shared.

Myriad abuses leads to shallow, unconscious breathing. Human stillness forms a shield, armor that blocks awareness. Addiction is a futile attempt to let go of contraction and for a few moments feel alive, instead of bored, miserable and confused. 

1. Of course the solar plexus is right there.

2. Martial Artists, Chi Kung etc. consider the mid section the seat of power.

Don't Miss Out

The first experience of leaving the womb, warm wet, welcomed would be exemplary. Except harsh lights, cold humans, and the usual torture is the general experience. Birth, Orgonomically one is whole and reaching out. Learning that you can shrink and not experience the bright light reality happens as a protection. Shallow breathing becomes a tool that modulates consciousness and becomes unconscious and the little consciousness left is a fantasy of being. No Orgone streaming is armor. The stoppage of Orgone movement is a retarded state. 

Puberty didn't exist. Individual expression thrown out and substituted with emotional plague. No one had a clue what was needed for well being. Well there was addiction. What's for dinner? To be born into a world of humans who denies their animal nature, leads to a culture where one is not physically touched, lovingly massaged. All mammals touch continuously except humans. Touch is essential especially at birth to reinforce Orgone streaming, and security. 

Addiction is just a bad substitute for expressing the anger, rage of a incomplete life. My brother and I had to function as best we could in a retarded family. As adults we have a chance to experience the abuse and if lucky Orgone Therapy will teach appropriate emotions. If not the rest of ones life will be a search for what is missing: spontaneous expression, Orgone streaming, and  sexual satisfaction.

Only in Orgone Therapy will you find the tools to finally express the holding, the constriction, the denial, the unconscious from head to toe that is invisible and only can be unlocked through Dr. Reich's final Therapy and not some new mash up.

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